


Giving It Our All

by AllTimeAlex



Category: Justin Bieber (Musician), One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-31 18:24:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 36,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12138411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllTimeAlex/pseuds/AllTimeAlex
Summary: ~Being together for two years things between Harry and Niall are starting to spread thin between the two lads.Will they be able to save their relationship before it's too late? and will there be more trials to face?~





	1. Screaming Match

*Niall Horan*  
CRASH! "I hate you!" the loud voice coming from my lovely curly haired boyfriend of 2 years now he's been acting really timid and gets pissed if I  make one little mistake.  
Trying not to scream at him for his recent behavior all of the other lads know there's something wrong with him but we just can't get him to open up.......  
But I will...  
"Love, please don't do this to me right now just calm down and tell me what's wrong babe" getting back up to my feet after Haz throwing a plate at my face nearly missing. Picking up the shard pieces. While trying to keep it together for Harry...  
Sighing getting another headache as Harry stomps down the hall and slams a door it seems that whatever I do or say only makes things worse and I can't get the other lads involved even tho I do need the help.  
Going to the coffee table and picking up my phone looking through the contacts:  
Demi Lovato  
  
Ed Sheeran

  
Luke Hemmings

  
Selena Gomez  

Drake

"Where is oh there it is" 

Justin Bieber 

  
Well....here goes nothing

  
*(Justin/ Niall phone call)*  
J-Hey Ni  
N-Hey Jay  
J-Whats up?  
N-I need your help.....  
J-Dude what's wrong?  
N-I-its Haz I-I can't do anything right to him all we do is scream at each other I know that the tour is gonna start soon but I can't get him to talk to any of us.  
J- Oh my God Ni yeah I've been noticing somethings up with Haz. So how can I help?  
N-can you be here in 20 minutes?  
Whimpering sliding down on the kitchen floor putting my hand in my hair tears sliding down my face  
J- sure Ni I'll see you then.  
Setting my phone down and putting my hands in my hair pulling slightly, Why can't he do anything but scream at me?

  
*Harry Styles *

  
" _I hate you!_ "

Screaming at the top of my lungs at my blonde Irishman.  
Why did I say that I don't hate Niall  
Grabbing a plate and chucking it at his face him dodging it and looking at me like I've lost my mind.  
"Love, please don't do this to me right now just calm down and tell me what's wrong babe" getting off of his feet in a calming tone I want to but I can't my mind is swimming with these thoughts that I don't understand...  
I don't know why Niall would do this to me I've seen him late at night smelling like booze and drugs but he thinks I'm the one who needs help? But maybe I'm the reason he drinks and does drugs.....

  
I know he doesn't love me anymore he should just say it.  
Biting my lip "You don't believe anything I say anymore do you!!" grabbing my hair and screaming so hard my throat hurts.  
Tears cascading down my face and running down the hall and going to our bedroom slamming and locking the door. **You know you're worthless to him.**.. the voice in my head says "N-no I'm N-not he lo-loves me" whimpering just wanting the voice to go away.

  
**Oh stupid Haz you know he's bored of you and by the way, you've acted this past month why wouldn't he? And I bet he's cheating on you with Justin hahaha**... that crossed the line I Hate Justin Drew Bieber I know he's always liked my man...well he's not getting him not wanting to believe the voice in my head but knowing it's probably true I am worthless and ugly next to Niall he's too perfect for me why would he-  
Cutting off my thoughts I hear a knock and some mumbling and everything goes quiet...I don't like the sound of this...

  
*Niall Horan*  
"Thanks, Jay for coming..." pulling the Canadian in for a hug. hearing him chuckle. "Anything for you Niall, so where's Haz?"  
"He's upstairs locked himself in our room since I called you I just want my old Haz back" crying and hiccuping and feeling Justin's arm pull me in for another hug. "It's okay Niall maybe he's just stressed and doesn't want to tell you guys and if he did he would think he's weak?" Justin says soothingly  
"Now why don't we just relax and watch a movie or something and I'm sure Harry will come down and you guys can talk things out" nodding and pulling on the sleeves of my jumper and walking towards the couch and sinking in it.  
"Watcha wanna watch?" Pulling my feet up towards me and shrugging my shoulders sighing. "Okay, then Avengers?"  
Nodding at my Canadian friend and he turns off the lights and sits down next to me. I automatically latch onto him shoving my face in his neck smelling his scent.  
This is much better than fighting and having screaming matches with Harry thinking to myself and smiling to myself content with the peace and quiet with only the noise from the movie.

  
"You are really cute when your not stressed ya know?" His strong voice filling my ears and blushing at the compliment. I am? "Thanks, Jay I co-" being cut off by my phone vibrating in my sweats pocket, pulling it out and seeing Louis's name light up.

  
"One sec Jay", getting off of him and going to the kitchen.

  
(Louis and Niall phone call)

  
N-"hey Lou what's up"

  
He's cheerful voice fills my ears

  
L-" we just wanted to know how Haz was"

  
Hearing his worrying tone through the phone which is something you don't hear often which means somethings wrong.

  
N-"I still can't get him to talk to me I think he's just stressed and he doesn't want us to know cause he thinks we'll think he's weak and him being the youngest" sighing and letting my eyes wander to Justin sitting there in black skinnies, a white shirt, and black Supras.

  
L-"Niall! Niall! Hello?? You there?"

  
Snapping out of my Justin trance and biting my lip

  
N-"yeah yeah no need to shout" resting my elbows on the kitchen counter.

  
L-"well we want to see Haz we'll be over around 5ish" He's deflated tone making me sigh I need to find out what's wrong with my Haz... Going back and sitting by Justin not worrying about Haz, the tour, nothing why does Justin do this to me?

  
"Ni? You okay?" Justin's worried tone snaps me back into reality "yeah yeah I'm fine just tired and the other lads are coming over around 5ish" yawning and resting my head on his shoulder.

  
"Well it's 2 right now so why don't you just rest it looks like you haven't slept in forever" he cares about me? And that goddamn smile never fails not wanting to say no I nod and close my eyes finally letting sleep take me away.

  
*Justin Bieber*  
I can't believe Niall let himself get this way I've been worried sick since they started the tour I haven't heard from him or the other guys I knew this blonde boy wouldn't take care of himself but he needs sleep and Harry's probably sleeping up there but...I might want to check.  
Turning and seeing Niall latch onto my arm and his head on my shoulder. Really Niall? Shaking my head with a smile.  
Slowly getting out of Niall's hand grip and laying him on the couch and covering him up with a blanket and creeping down the hallway and trying the door but it is locked

  
"Harry? Haz? You okay? it's me Justin" sighing not hearing anything but remember there's a key in the plant next to their door, grabbing it and sliding it into the doorknob and opening it slowly and walking in seeing Harry curled up in the far corner shaking slightly but hearing he's even breathing he has to be sleeping....right?  
Going over to the small shaking boy and seeing his, in fact, asleep picking him up bridal style and laying him on the bed, covering him.  
I really hope they make up...tiptoeing out of the room leaving the door slightly ajar. Walking back out to the living room still seeing the little Irishman asleep soundly, sitting next to Niall and smiling down at him focusing back on the movie.  
*1 hour later*  
*Harry Styles*  
Waking up and looking around wait who did I get on the bed? I was on the floor. Glancing at the clock seeing it's 4 wow... **have a good nap Harold?**... **hahaha** not again.

"Y-yes" feeling nauseous again.

  
**You know what I saw your "man" and that Justin cuddled up on the couch I told you he doesn't care about you anymore weakling.** Oh hell no Justin that little Canadian bastard pulling at my hair getting out of bed and going down the hallway gasping at the sight....he was right.  
Niall is all over Justin he doesn't even want a crazy asshole like me. I was right as always just look at that, they are a really cute couple no no no!!  
"Really Niall! You do love Justin more than me why couldn't you've had just told me you didn't want me anymore!!!!" Screaming at him not caring anymore he doesn't.  
"Haz you damn well I love your arse more than anything! You're the one pushing me away, yelling at me and throwing shit at me!!"  
Stunned Niall's never yelled at me like that before...all I do is screw up things looking at the clock 4:55 great this whole time I've spent screaming at the love of my life...I'm a great boyfriend.... and Justin's here.....  
"I thought we were mates Justin? You really are a rat bastard!" Glaring at him as his eyes go wide than his fists clench.  
"We.....were...but hearing that I want nothing to with your ass if all your going to is yell and call me and Niall names!" Wow, they both hate me now...

  
*Louis Tomlinson*  
"Come on Li we have to check on Haz and Ni I really hope we can help they've been having a rough relationship lately" grabbing my phone, wallet, and keys and looking at my boyfriend slipping his converse on and smiling at me.  
"They'll be fine Lou and if they aren't we are here for them" holding my hand as we walk to my car both of us getting in and driving to their flat.  
After about 15mins we arrive outside their flat hearing Irish and English accents....Oh no...."Liam hurry they're screaming at each other!"  
Running down to their flat with Liam on my tail unlocking the door seeing Niall and Harry at each side throats and Justin trying to break them up.

  
"You're a fucking liar Niall James Horan!" Harry screams at Niall crying "Well at least I'm trying to talk things through and doesn't scream at everything you say or do!!" Niall screams back  
I can tell he's trying to catch his breath. Running to both of them "Lads! Stop right now both of you" grabbing Haz by they waist and Liam grabs Niall's pulling them apart hearing them gasp and catch their breath. giving Liam the "we need to help them look" and him nodding tightening a grip on Niall. "Now lads why are we screaming at each other this time?"

  
Asking in a calming tone trying not to upset them any further bringing them both to the couch. Silence dead silence until Niall's voice speaks up " Harry's changed...." wiping the tears from his face getting off of Liam's lap and latching onto Justin..wow he won't sit next to anyone except Justin....weird 

Justin frowning and rubbing Niall's back shushing him and trying to get him to calm down I never knew that Justin could do that but besides the point.  
"What do you mean Ni that Harry's changed" holding a wiggling Haz on my lap making him listen to his boyfriend. Knowing that he's changed but wanting him to speak up, "Come on Niall you can talk to us we are your mates remember?" Smiling at him.  
"He I-Is always screaming a-at me-e I try b-but nothing seems to work any-more. All he-e does is yell and thr-row things at me this wasn't th-e H-Haz I fell in love with...." oh no his stutter is coming out... poor thing I can feel my heart clench to see him breaking down like this, this isn't the Niall I know. 

  
The lad holding his head and leaning back on Justin for support. "So Niall....is it true that you've been drinking and doing drugs again...." looking down at Harry and back at Niall as he whips around and bites his lip...Bingo...

"It looks like you both need to talk this out together and yelling and screaming at each other isn't going to solve anything it's getting late and now that you guys have calmed down some we are gonna head home we'll come back tomorrow okay?"  
Feeling Harry nod slightly and Niall does the same but not letting go of Jay.  
Setting Harry down on the couch getting up with Liam behind me sadly smiling. "Harry do you want to come over and sleep over at our flat tonight?"  
Harry nods slipping on his shoes leaving with us"Bye lads love you see you tomorrow..."

  
*Justin Bieber*  
"Okay, Ni I should be heading home too" feeling Niall only hug tighter...this has been a long day..."Okay, Niall, you love Harry right?"  
Getting a nod from the blonde boy.  
"I want to get you to help Ni...." him looking at me with pure terror in his eyes it's the only way I've talked with Liam and Louis and they are gonna try the same with Harry...good thing they are on a break for a while due to everything happening.  
"It's okay Niall I'll be there with you the whole way everyone will" smiling at his piercing blue eyes "Everything will be alright...."

  
*Niall Horan*  
"Everything will be alright" Justin's voice soothingly maybe everything will not be able to keep my eyes open any longer and finally let sleep consume me the thoughts of my curly haired boyfriend... I'm going to get my old Haz back and I'm going to work on myself for him....no matter what..looking back on the good memories of us.

Where did it all go wrong...?


	2. Finding Out

The next day~  
All of the lads being exhausted from the recent events happening to them and Simon on their case about upcoming shows they have, having that in mind they need to get Niall and Harry back on talking terms and fast. But Simon giving them a couple week break  
The only thing they could think of was a counseling for Harry and Rehab for Niall yeah they'll love that...but not really having that much time before their next couple of concerts and then their tour.

  
*Zayn Malik*  
Sitting at Narry's flat with all the other lads Justin and Liam catching me up to speed while I've been on a little vacation with Perrie.  
But there's this dead awkward silence, Man this isn't right ever since almost a year ago things have been kind of stiff with everyone and it's sad seeing everything fall apart.  
Looking at Niall and Harry look into each other's eyes I can see that they want things back to normal.  
Whispering over to Louis  
"Hey, Lou I might have an idea get the other lads except Niall and Harry" smiling and getting up going to the kitchen feeling everyone's eyes on me.  
Resting my elbows on the counter. While Liam is on my left Louis on my right and Justin looking intently at me.  
Looking around and back at the other two lads still too awkward to even talk to each other, Sighing cause this plan just has to work if we want our Ni and Haz back but them both being so stubborn.  
"Okay this is the plan Louis and Liam you're going to take Haz to this therapist I've already made an appointment in a half an hour"  
sliding a piece of paper with the place and the therapist Louis taking it looking at it and nodding.  
"Jay, you and I are gonna stay here a bit just cause it being Saturday and Harold saying Niall goes out drinking and comes home hammered if it's bad we'll then check Niall into rehab okay?"  
Looking around at the others.  
"What about Simon? Does he know?" Liams says picking at the end of his shirt  
Crap  
"I'll call him after you guys leave and besides he'll help us out. Rubbing the back of my neck, always something can't catch a break.  
"What about your fans? Have you guys look on Twitter these past couple weeks?" Jay says resting his hand on his cheek look down at the counter.  
Really Justin?  
"We'll check it out later today our main priority is them gesturing to the two glancing at us with curiosity showing deeply on their faces.  
Their faces look just like when we won X Factor....so innocent and scared those emotions don't match Harry and Niall at all.  
*Liam Payne*  
"Let's go, Lou, before the paparazzi come out they've already taken pictures of Niall leaving bars and Harry leaving different houses...and the captions aren't at all good...  
"Niall Leaving another bar? Is One Direction getting to be too much or is it something else?" Quoting the caption of what looks to be a drunk off his bloody arse Niall laughing with a girl.  
"What if Simon sees these!?!" Louis shout whispers, panicking already filling his voice.  
Oh, that's great just to top it off.  
"If Simon sees these he'll have our heads" gulping looking at the next picture of Harry leaving an apartment looking like crap shoving something in his pocket.  
"The one and only Harry Styles leaving another house looking quite awful is the stress of 1D getting to him?" Seeing that only fueled my need to help them and help us get back to normal...  
*Justin Bieber*  
While going over what we are gonna do my phone has to vibrate in my back pocket slipping it out and seeing Emily's, of course, my assistant's name flashing, groaning slipping away down the hallway and picking it up.

  
J-Yeah what's up Em?

  
Knowing that all she wants me to do is get back on schedule but right now my friends mean more and I honestly don't care I'm here for them until the end  
Knowing that she's going to yell at me.

  
E-You knows I've stalled your tour as long as I can and we need to get back on track if you want your album to come out in time with your tour then we need you back here.  
Sighing knowing she's right but...I don't want to think of just myself anymore after breaking up with Selena I don't want to focus on myself anymore...

  
J- I know Em but since being on break and hanging out with the One Direction guys I've grown closer to them and they need my help Em, please a little longer...  
Knowing begging probably won't get me anywhere I have to try even if my career is on the line.

  
E- Fine, but not too much I can only give you 3 weeks then back to the tour.

  
J- Oh my gosh thanks Em, yes I'll be back on tour in three weeks and I don't want to tell the guys...

  
Not realizing the boys were listening to the whole conversation were moved how much that Jay cared about them but we're sad that he had to go back on tour knowing he had to at some point. Hearing Justin walking back everyone jumped on the couch and acted normal.

  
*Justin Bieber*  
Sighing and looking around at all the eyes on me especially Niall's I know that look the somethings wrong look.  
Damn I hate that look makes me feel awful  
Sitting by Niall and look at Zayn, Liam, and Louis nodding as Lou and Li get up and bend down to meet Harry's gaze.  
"Hey Haz I got a call from Paul and they said they want to go over some vocals since the last ones "weren't you " Louis says putting in air quotations and seeing Haz only look at the two and nod slowly getting up and grabbing his shoes and slipping them on.  
While Louis and Liam nod and walk out with Haz  
If only he knew...

  
*Zayn Malik*  
Looking over at Niall poor Ni wrapping an arm around the blonde lad and pulling him closer and feeling him relax.  
"Hey, Ni wanna go out you've been cooped up in this flat for a few days let's go out and do something anything you want" "Really?" "Of course you've been so down and sad that's not our Ni" "well could we go get ice cream" "of course anything you want" smiling tickling his sides and him letting out the cutest laughs.  
"Why don't you go take a shower? We'll be down here waiting for you" smiling as he runs up the stairs already sensing a little more happiness in him.  
"Hey Jay I'm not so sure I can do this anymore" "we have to Zayn he won't get any better" "I feel like he's going to hate us and i-i just couldn't take it"  
Grabbing my phone, keys, and wallet slipping on my shoes and going to the door with Justin right next to me.  
"Jay?" Looking up and seeing him look up "hm?"  
"Um when you were in the hallway we kinda well heard everything and-" "you heard all of it?" "Yeah, and you need to tell the others especially Ni" rubbing his shoulder and giving him a small smile.  
"D-do you think he'll hate me?" Justin asking as he plays with the end of his shirt biting his lip trying to hold in the tears threatening to fall. "Oh of course not! Niall could never hate anyone especially you, he looks up to you a lot" "really?" "Of course!"

  
*Niall Horan*  
Going into the bathroom stripping of my clothes I've been in for 2 days now and letting the warm water wake me up. I know I've been drinking alot and staying out late but that's not who I am I can fix this by myself I don't need anyone's help...  
Grabbing my shampoo and scrubbing my scalp and washing it out, doing the same thing with my body and getting out wrapping a towel around my waist and heading to my room.  
throwing on some black skinnies a blue ombre very neck and blue Supras grabbing my snapback and heading down the stairs seeing Zayn and Jay waiting for me by the door.  
Walking out the door and getting in Zayn's black Bently getting in the passenger seat, while Justin gets in the passenger and Zayn starts it up.

  
*Justin Bieber*  
Getting in Zayns car as he sets out for the Rehab place with Niall in the back on his phone.  
The silent car ride was weird but everything was peaceful looking up and seeing Zayn pull into the hospital parking lot and looking back and Niall has a smile on his face until he reads that he's at the hospital then his eyes get wide with terror and anger.  
Undoing his seat belt and trying to make a run for it.  
"Zayn! Catch him he's on your side" yelling getting out of the car with Zayn and me blocking the back.  
"Come on Niall we are doing this because you need help we've seen you doing drugs we found them in your room and the drinking has to stop Niall" Zayn saying turning serious, making Niall freeze in his arms.  
"I hate you guys! Why would you lie to me!" Niall whimpers still struggling to get out of Zayns grip as we walk into the hospital with Niall still wailing around and crying. So upset seeing my best friend like this, but I know he needs help before this goes any further.  
Walking into East Shore Rehab with the little blonde lad still crying, and wrestling with Zayn, walking up to the front desk.  
"Yes, Hi we spoke on the phone earlier about Niall" motioning towards him and the worker silently nodding "of course if you'll follow me" as her tiny figure and blonde long hair shines. Going down many white hallways and that smell and this is why I hate hospitals.  
Turning to look at Niall in Zayn's arms sleeping soundly must have tired himself out. The worker left and said that the doctor would be in shortly.  
"So Zayn how do you Louis and Liam are doing with Harry?" Asking quietly while looking around the plain white walls. He looked up and shrugged his shoulders and held onto Niall as he slept, biting my lip as a doctor walked in.  
"Hello, I'm Taylor we talked on the phone earlier about your friend?" She sat down in front of us looking at Niall.

  
*3rd Pov*  
The doctor talked with the two boys about Niall and what they could do also talking about Harry. The doctor telling them.  
"Well he will have to go into some of the programs we have for drinking and drugs and he was diagnosed with depression so we will give him some medication for that you guys can leave in no rush we will talk about the programs when you guys come back in a few days"  
"Well if there aren't any questions I should make my leave" Taylor got up waved and left.  
"I really hope Louis and Liam had it as easy as we did " Justin says getting up as Zayn follows leaving their friend hoping he knows we want to help him.

  
*Liam Payne*  
We drove with Harry asleep in the back I really hope he doesn't hate us for this, we know he hates any kind of doctor we really don't know why but I understand why. Pulling up to a red light and seeing Lou is on Twitter...  
"Lou we are supposed to be on the low and that means no Twitter you heard Zayn, until everything dies down" sighing and going to the doctor's Zayn wrote down, pulling into a parking space jumping out of the car and opening the back door scooping the young lad in my arms and walking into the building with Louis beside me looking scared I mean who isn't right now?  
"Hello welcome to East Shore Hospital, you Liam and Louis by any chance?" She says tilting her head.  
"Yes we are" Louis whispers  
"Okay well if go down that hall turn right the third door down the doctor will be with you shortly" she says pointing then turning back to us smiling.  
Nodding and walking down the long hallway with Harry still sleeping, wow this boy can sleep through anything. Turning down and opening the door sitting Harry down on the bed in the room while I and Lou sit in chairs.  
"Hey, Li?"  
"Hm?"  
"Everything will turn out won't it.....?" Lou says biting his lip trying not to cry. Damn, I hate it when Louis cries...  
"Yes I'm 100% positive everything will be fine Zayn said the doctors have a plan for them it might take a bit but it'll be fine and everything will go back to the way it was" rubbing his back smiling...I hope I'm right

  
*Louis Tomlinson *  
I really hope Li is right looking over and seeing the doctor walk in and sit down in a chair and crossing his leg.

  
"Hello, I'm Dr.Keller this being Harry Styles?" He asks pointing his pen and us nodding. "Okay well I talked to Zayn Malik on the phone a couple days ago and the symptoms that he has shown has to lead us to believe he is diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder" Dr. Keller explains writing some notes on his paper and looking back up.  
"Um Dr.Keller can you explain a bit" Asking gripping Liams hand  
"Well, the symptoms are often followed by periods of improvement. Symptoms may include delusions, hallucinations, depressed episodes, and manic periods of high energy. Which is what your friend told me we will run some tests just to make sure, then I would highly recommend getting him into some counseling and I will prescribe some medication for him" he says writing more stuff down and getting up.  
"I'll be right back but before I go may I ask one question" leaning against the door  
"Of course doctor" we nod  
"Has Harry been under alot of stress lately?"  
"Ummm yeah we kinda all have been but mostly Harry why do you ask?" Liam says looking over at Haz. "Well stress can be one of the causes it can be a big trigger now I am off to get your papers I will be back." the doctor says quietly exiting leaving us alone with a sleeping Harry.

  
*3rd Pov*  
Liam and Louis talk a little bit waiting for the doctor to come back when they hear a little yawn turning and seeing the small lad starting to wake up getting fearful that he'll freak out the two lads walk over to him smiling down at him.  
"Hey Haz," Liam says rubbing his shoulder smiling hoping he doesn't realize he's in a hospital but before anything. Harry gets up and looks around his eyes go huge and his head starts pounding, grabbing he's head and shaking.  
"Haz! Harry???" His two friends say concerned for him.

  
**"NO! DON'T TOUCH ME!!"** he screams backing into the corner of the room rocking back and forth trying to breathe.  
"Haz...please breath calm down lad we aren't going to hurt you" Liam's calming voice as he slowly approaches the shaking boy sitting on the floor by him. "Please calm down Haz we are only doing this cause we care about you so breath with me" slowly hearing the young lad breathing mellow out.  
"See Haz your okay" Louis says smiling sitting on the left of the Cheshire lad.

  
Hearing the door open and seeing the doctor walk in. "Why hello Harry," he says smiling sitting down in front of him knowing he's freaked out by everything.  
"W-where am I-I" Harry asks looking around frantically trying to shake off his two friends but not succeeding.  
"Well Harry your in the hospital... and we are here to help you and your friends care alot about you too, doing this" Dr. Keller smiles and moving some of his hair out of his face  
"So Harry your friends say you have a boyfriend who is also being helped" looking at his friends and looking back at Harry. "Y-yes we want to g-get better" sniffling and sighing.

  
* Liam Payne*  
Holding Harry while he talks with the doctor starting to smile and laugh some man have we missed the old Harry and I think he's coming out slowly but surely.  
"Okay Harry I would like to talk to about why you are here then I would like you to talk to someone" walking over to his desk grabbing his notes then coming back. "You are diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder." the doctor says slowly and quietly not to startle the poor lad.  
All of sudden he tenses up biting his lip  
"Haz do you have something you haven't told us. " I say calmly. Rubbing his back letting him calm down a bit.  
"W-well I um my sister was diagnosed with it before I left...." Harry says looking at the doctor and he nods. "That's completely fine Harry you can also get it from Genetics but your friends told me you've been under alot of stress and you see that can trigger it too" Dr.Keller explains softly and seeing Harry smiling showing his famous dimples.  
This is the Harry we want back and I know we can get him back.  
"We have someone we want you to talk to about this. " he says grabbing his stuff and opening the door for us. Getting up and grabbing Harry's hand and Lou grabs his other walking behind the doctor down the long hallways and endless doors until he stops.  
" Harry I have to speak with your friends but don't worry we will be right back" saying with a smile gesturing for us to come.  
"You'll be okay Haz we will be right back. " Lou says laughing and hugging him following the doctor and I give him a hug. "Don't run away Haz we are trusting you. " I say in his ear and walk with the doctor leaving the Cheshire lad alone.

  
*Harry Styles*  
I want to get better I know I should have told the lads about my sister at least Niall...I kept that from him that could've helped before all of this happened to come to think of it when I started acting like this Niall started drinking and staying out possibly doing drugs...

  
**Oh Harold please you know very well Niall would rather be with Justin then you haha he isn't as fucked up as you hahaha** shut up please not here and now Niall loves me and only me grabbing my hair leave me alone!!! I yell and everyone looks at me as I put my head down and my curls hang hiding my face, I can feel my face getting warm.  
**Fine but this isn't the last you hear from me, Harold...**

  
 opening the door hearing it lock behind me seeing.....Niall sitting in a chair leaning his elbows on the table crying silently...I did this...Niall's crying cause of me.... **told ya I'm not stupid Harry** **"SHUT UP!!"** I yell falling on the floor crying "it won't leave me alone" crying feeling arms wrap around my waist hugging me strongly I know these arms....turning and seeing the blonde lad hugging me crying "it won't get you, babe...I won't let it" holding me close.  
Hugging back kissing his cheek crying in his shoulder feeling eyes watch as I turn and see Zayn, Justin, Liam, and Louis with Dr.Keller.  
"I'm sorry Niall" is all I manage to say...still hugging him.

  
"It's not your fault Harry. " he says wiping his tears with the back of his hand smiling with his red puffy eyes looking at me. "Yes, it is I need to tell you something" "What is it" "Ummm I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder and I should've told you and the rest that my sister was diagnosed with it before I left for the tour". I finally say feeling like the weight lift off of my body and it feels amazing.  
"Oh Haz it's okay we will get through this together my doctor is putting me through some programs to help with the drinking and drugs we will get better I promise we will give it our all. " Niall says smiling kissing me on the lips and seeing our friends around us smiling and some crying. I need to get better not just for Niall but for everyone I'm not gonna let this thing take over me anymore.  
"Yes we will" all I manage to say getting up and walking over to my friends for a group hug this is why I love them...  
"Hey, Zayn have you told Simon about any of this?" Lou asks  
breaking the room into a cold silence  
"Shit" Zayn says looking at us.....

  
Oh, what will Simon say?


	3. Help?

*Simon Cowell*

  
Oh I haven't heard from the boys in a few days I know I gave them a couple week break but they usury call me or text me especially Liam being Liam anyway they are starting to worry me and I hear these rumors about them on Twitter with Niall and Harry. It's hard trying to get rumors to die down but especially rumors like these those lads better have some good excuses for this behavior.

  
"Damn voice mail again!"

Listening to Liam's voice mail again  
"Liam what is going on I haven't heard from you lads in 5 days and it's worrying me none of you are answering your phones. We have a tour to go on in a couple of weeks and I am getting calls from Justin's manager that he is with you and he's supposed to be touring! You lads need to answer me soon call me back bye"  
these boys wouldn't do something like this and atleast call me and tell me and now I get Justin's manager on my ass what else could go wrong! Plopping on my couch rubbing my face with my hands in frustration I've had to cancel some concert offers and the fans are getting pissed....have you ever tried to calm Directioners? No? Well, they don't go down easy.

  
Trying to think of anything I can do when I'm knocked out of thoughts when I hear a knock. "Who now?" Grumbling to myself but seeing Paul on the other side why do I have a bad feeling about this well when Paul comes to me like this, it's usually bad.  
"Now Simon I know what you are thinking and it's not bad, that's not why I am here" Wow well I wonder what he came to tell me. He came in and sat down. " The boys wanted you to kno-" cutting him off  
"What about the boys!?" I get nervous what have they gotten into this time....chuckling at me and shaking his head "nothing they have updated me on what they are doing making sure nothing happens but they did say they wanted to speak to you face to face about what's been going on, the lads just wanted me to come over and tell you not to worry about them they will come over tomorrow and tell you everything you wanna know" Paul says finishing off and getting up smiling walking towards the door.  
"See you Simon" waving shortly at me and leaving.

  
"Oh okay well if Paul says not to worry I won't but.. something tells me I'm in for something tomorrow"

  
*Justin Bieber*  
I know I need to leave for tour and I can't stall anymore but I'm still worried about Niall, but there's nothing I can do Emily called me and said I need to leave today so guess I have to.  
"Bye guys wish I didn't have to go but Emily will have my head if I don't" earning laughs from the guys. I'll miss them but after the tour we decided we are gonna hang out after everything settles out, pulling the guys in for a group hug  
"See you guys good luck on tour maybe we will meet up somewhere!" Niall running and giving me and extra hug yeah we've been friends awhile but I'm going to miss Niall the most. "Bye J," Niall says smiling he's so sweet. Leaving and heading to the black limo parked outside how much do you wanna bet that Emily is in there?  
Sighing, opening the door and in fact seeing Emily writing down some stuff but turns when she sees me get in I ignore her the entire back to the hotel. Why? Cause it doesn't matter I'm always on her shit list so why bother trying to reason with her she'll end up telling management anyway.

  
"Justin! Are you listening to me at all?"

She says Snapping her manicured fingers in my face did I ever mention she ever annoys the crap out of me??   
"Yeah yeah you were yelling at me about stalling the tour and I now have management on my ass so I'm going to have to step up my game but you know what that's not what I'm worried about right now they are the last thing on my mind" at this point I'm not even going to argue.  
Putting in my ear buds and laying my head back on the seat.

  
_Management is going to kill me..._

  
Bouncing my leg and looking out the window seeing as the hotel I'll be staying at comes into view making me tenser. Getting out of the limo throwing my bag over my shoulder ignoring Emily as she hands me my room key heading off into the direction of the elevator with Emily on my tail.  
Damn, she's still talking?  
Getting off and heading over to my room sliding the key in chucking my bag on the floor and landing on the bed too tired to even get changed.  
"Justin, have you been listening at all?" Looking down at me with 'the look' "no I wasn't I stopped listening to you after you told me I need to be more responsible" smirking as she scoffs and goes to the door.  
Finally a break from her for once!  
Closing my eyes and letting sleep take over which doesn't take long considering the day I've had.

  
*The Next Day*

  
"Justin!" "Justin Get up we need to be down there to meet management in 20 minutes" waking me up is none other than Emily's piercing loud voice yeah something I really wanted to wake up to at 9 o'clock in the morning her loud voice is something I didn't miss when I was gone.

  
Grumbling to myself as I throw the covers off feeling the breeze through the open window walking over to bag grabbing some ripped black skinny jeans and a sweatshirt with my red hightops.  
Hell, I'm meeting management not like I'm gonna dress up.  
Throwing them on quickly knowing Emily and Scooter are out there talking about me already, I run my fingers through my hair and grabbing my bag walking out to see them.  
"Justin" Scooters stern voice filling the empty hallway. "I've heard from Emily that you've been pushing back your tour to be with the 1D boys is that correct?" He says putting his head to his forehead rubbing it. "U-um w-well maybe"

  
 _Damn stupid stuttering very manly Justin_  

  
"Justin you know as good as me that management will hear about this right?" He demands and I don't dare talk but I know he wants me to reply back but I am just able to weakly nod biting my bottom lip looking down at my shoes, But the one question is still on my mind.

  
_How are they?_

I know if management knows I won't be able to see them and I can't do that..

  
"Justin Justin, are you listening to me?"

Scooter snapping his fingers in my face knocking me out of my trance and back to more yelling jeez can't these people do anything but yell at me?  
Looking at Scooter and nodding only getting bits and pieces of what he said but not caring.  
"Okay so I want you to be on your best behavior Justin, I mean it no more tricks your career can't afford it" he sighs

  
*skip the ride*

  
Entering the huge building already making me dizzy but playing with the end of my shirt as Emily talks her head off I've been so worried about the boys.  
I've been on my phone so much texting Liam asking how they have been doing but only getting small answers like "their fine" or "they miss you" that's not like Li.  
Walking down the long hallway with Emily still talking her big mouth off don't get me wrong I love her like a sister but she gets on my nerves so much. Ignoring her and walking into the big wide room with a table and a few chairs with a huge view.

  
Sitting down bouncing my leg slightly not getting anything from them when I hear the door open seeing Nolan and a few other people of management and they don't really look happy the sudden dizzy feeling is back and Emily's gone she's the only one who knows I've been getting these recently. Biting my lip wondering what I did wrong this time...oh wait yeah I missed half my tour yeah I'm screwed.

  
"Justin we've been hearing that you decided to skip half of the tour!!! All we have been getting is hate and refunds not just us but you!!!"

Nolan slams his hand down on the table in rage yeah no one likes seeing Nolan pissed.

_Great job Bieber_

  
" I-I know....but I can explain I-"

trying to until he cuts me off with the anger in his eyes. he gets up from his chair and paces rubbing his face "No just no excuses I'm mad beyond mad but since you did come back when we asked you to and with that we will be watching you a lot more closely" as he says that I start getting dizzy again trying to look at Nolan trying to talk to me but just getting nauseous and laying my head down on the table counting till ten like Emily said to do not focus on the people crowding around me rubbing me back.

  
"I...Need Em...."

I slowly say closing my eyes hearing Nolan scream for Emily to come and I feel her wrap her arms around me talking to me in a calm voice.  
"Breath Justin Breathe with me you're doing it. I am here Justin " she says encouragingly I can feel her smile as she rubs my shoulders.

"Thanks, Em" I whisper.

"I'm sorry Justin I should've been in here with you" looking up at her slowly shaking my head "no its not your fault".  
Emily rubs my back as she gives me a bottle of water meeting Nolan's eyes and she's mad. "Don't ever yell at Justin like that again, you don't know why he's been gone and yes he was helping some of his friends!! That doesn't give you the right to yell and talk to him like he is an object!" Damn I have never seen Emily talk to them like that before I can feel my vision become blurry and I start to feel nauseous but I try to keep it at a standstill. 

  
"It's not all about the tour and the money to him but his fans mean everything to him and after a bit, Justin needs time with his friends and family so I want you to cancel this tour saying on Twitter that Justin isn't feeling well and he'll do one next year"  
I look up at Emily smiling with my head still pounding and seeing Nolan's defeated face, point one to Emily.... ha she helps me up and back to the car where I pass out with my head on her shoulder.  
She helps me up to my hotel room where I throw off my shirt and fall on the bed still thinking of the boys hope they are okay.....

  
*Three months later*

  
*Niall Horan*  
So I've been taking meds going to couples and my own  counseling and Harry is taking his meds returning to the lovable little curly haired dork of mine and you don't know how much I've missed that with also the help of Louis and Liam well Zayn's been busy with family issues but helps when he can.  
Oh and Simon yeah he found out a couple weeks later he wasn't mad at all to our surprise he actually helped us with everything and its been a big journey even Justin comes in to see us. We are getting our life back  
"BLONDIE!!!!" "Oof Haz what the hell" my back on the floor with Haz on top of me smiling the biggest most real smile I've seen in a while and it feels good. I can't help but laugh at those dimples and cute smile I feel in love with the first day I saw him. Hugging him hearing the nurses coo and awe at us yeah they do that sometimes...  
"Any reason your so happy all of a sudden?" I ask playing with he's hair still sitting on the floor with harry in between my legs. "Liam and Louis and even Justin are coming!!!" He says excitingly like a little kid and if you're wondering didn't Harry and Justin hate each other?

Yes, yes they did until through the weeks it was all in Harry's head and they did makeup. Still playing with his hair as he goes on about Justin they have become quite close and I'm happy they get along so well.

  
"JAY!!!" Harry screams with joy as he bounces up off the floor and tackles Justin walking with Liam and Louis they only laugh and shake their heads typical Haz we all love him...  
"Hey Haz," Jay says wrapping Harry in a bear hug laughing at his cuteness  
We are getting there......

  
*Niall Horan*  
I'm currently latched onto Jay's back while Liam, Harry, Louis, and his talk only hearing some of what they say being kind of tired to listen but that's what the doctor said might happen.  
I think Harry can see I'm tired but only gently smiles at me a few times then continues to talk to them. A few nurses come in and say that the doctors want to talk to me and Harry separately. But before I feel asleep totally I see a faint image of what is Simon.  
"Hey, lads how's everything been going" he pats Harry and me on the shoulders and smiles faintly at us "we've been doing well we should be out of here and back to the band in no time. " Haz says cheerfully smiling the Lo and Li who return it.  
"That's great lads but no pressure what's so ever your fans have been worried about your disappearance but I and Li have been working on it. " Simon says smiling at Liam. With Jay hugging me to him and Niall smiling at me with the same smile I feel in love with.

  
* a couple hours later*

  
*Liam Payne*  
"I'm really glad Haz and Ni are getting better and everything is settling back to the way things were" holding Louis hand as we arrive at our flat from the hospital.  
Walking into the kitchen as Lou goes and changes, grabbing a bottle of water as I see the clock reads 10:35  
Going into the bedroom and seeing Lo in gray sweatpants without a shirt creeping behind him and wrapping my arms around his tiny waist." oh bloody hell Li you scared me" looking at me smiling and laughing but grabbing a black v neck shirt throwing it over his head. "That's the point boo" kissing his cheek and going to get changed into sweats and a white long sleeved shirt.

  
Getting into bed wrapping my arms around the brown haired lad pulling him towards me, "hey Lou?" I ask getting something a muffled sound but he turns towards me looking into my eyes.

  
"Are Harry and Niall going to be okay?" Looking up at the ceiling but feeling a hand bring me back to Louis's eyes and they are filled with determination. "Of course Liam why would you think they wouldn't be?" He cocks he's head but lays on his back looking at the ceiling as well.  
"I'm not sure just hoping they will be-" getting cut off as Louis lips touch mine and he looks into my eyes. " they will be because they are strong and they love each other and we love them, they haven't come so far in a short amount of time I promise you they will just get some sleep you're tired" he yawns as he says it turning where he's back facing me and falls in deep sleep.  
Smiling as I drift off to sleep...

"everything will be fine"

  
*Harry Styles*  
Everyone is gone they are dead and it's my fault shaking and thrashing I see the bodies of the ones  
I love and....I'm holding the gun covered in blood as well as my hands I shake and cry dropping the gun running towards Niall's lifeless body his eyes still open I scream as I see Liam's and Louis not far from here.  
Standing up and walking over their bodies seeing two more in the distance lying on their backs in defensive positions.  
Already knowing they are Justin and Zayn I look around seeing nothing but black and smoke but a figure appears and it's me...laughing and holding the same gun walking towards me till he's a few feet apart.

  
**Look, Harry, you did it** , **you knew you wanted to get rid of them they were only in the way**.

He smirks grinning. "N-no i-I didn't do this...you did it!!!" I scream crying falling on my knees" as he stands to look down at me smiling twirling the gun in his hand. I look at my hands and are stained with the blood of those I care about.  
**Harry, you don't need them you need me to come back to me you know you want to** he hugs me and I push him off of me shaking vigorously wrapping my arms around myself shaking my head "No I don't I don't need you, you need me.

  
I'm getting better and so is Niall I don't need you and I never have" glaring at him as he moves back shaking his head **they don't love you and they never have**.  
Tears come down my face as I collapse in a pool of blood until I feel several hands shake me calling me "Harry wake up please you're scaring me" I slowly wake up to Niall's face with tears pricking his eyes as he musters a smile and looking around the room figuring out it was only a nightmare...a horrid nightmare  
I pull him towards me crying into his neck as he wraps his arms around me whispering sweet words in my ear.

  
"Harry it wasn't real, please calm down breathe with me do you want to tell me about it?" He looks at me with a worried expression. "N-no" searching myself from him and running into the corner of the room "I-I don't want t-to hurt you" whispering as my throat hurts from screaming so much  
Niall crouches down a few feet away smiling shaking his head "no you won't you never will and I know it, it was just a dream Haz" hearing that I look up to see him and a few nurses come in slowly towards me. " **NO GET AWAY FROM ME!** " screaming until I taste blood in my throat as they stop dead in their tracks and more people start crowding in make me feel nauseous.

  
I look at Niall with pleading eyes and nods getting up and turning towards them "Guys back away you're making it worse" Niall sternly says turning back to me talking to me calmly as I'm shaking.  
"Haz please calm down it's okay they won't hurt you I won't let them" he slowly steps forward, talking in a calm soothing voice until he's right in front of me looking into my eyes with love.  
I latch onto him and forget about everyone but him slowly falling asleep still shaking.

  
*Niall Horan*  
"My poor Haz" I whisper as he's asleep with me on my bed sniffling every now and then, that makes me pull him closer to me as I start to drift off thinking of how far we have come in this couple months...  
We'll make it Haz...


	4. Healing Open Wounds

*Harry Styles*

  
Waking up in a daze with my head pounding but look up seeing Niall and he's hair everywhere and his cute face.  
He's too perfect for me I love him unlatching his arms from my waist and still remembering that dream it felt so real and yet it wasn't but what if it happens again...  
Looking down at my hands still feeling the blood but shaking it off and walking down the long white hallway but being stopped by nurse and dragged into the cafeteria as I can feel the others looking at me but trying to ignore them, I've been here almost three months and the doctors say that we should be released in a few days which would be amazing as I can get on with my life since "He" hasn't come back yet and its nice.

  
I sit down with what I'm assuming is eggs and toast but not really being hungry I just stare at it hoping it doesn't move on me and wanting Niall to wake up soon.  
Hearing a sigh and plop lifting my head up to see a blonde Irish boy with sleep still in his eyes as he rests his head on the table with his bed head.  
"Niall wakes up we might be getting out soon but when they see us we need to keep working on this" poking my eggs with my fork as he lifts his head and nods getting up and gesturing for me to follow him and I can see Dr. Keller standing by his office talking to Niall.

  
Walking into his office I see my mum and sister as Niall is hugging his mum with tears running down his face. I run over to my mum and hug her "I'm so proud of you Haz" she says into my hair as I can feel a huge smile creep onto my face. Its actually getting better.

  
*Zayn Malik*

  
I really do feel bad that I haven't been there for Haz and Ni but my family's been on my arse telling me how I fucked up my life and I need to follow under my father blah blah blah.  
I'm currently texting Liam while Perrie is running around the flat looking for something I know she told me but I kind of don't remember.  
She then turns to me and stomping her feet all the way to where I'm laying on the bed reading my phone texting back my sisters when-

SLAP! a sudden pain in my cheek.

  
I drop my phone and put my hand on my stinging cheek looking up at Perrie and the one word to describe her now is a rage. Trying to keep my anger to a decent level with her I mean I love her but she's been a bitch these few weeks and it's pissing me off

"What the bloody hell Perrie!!!!".

  
Glaring at her "I'm sick of you Zayn and all the crap, you are more your friends and your parents than you do me and Zayn I am your girlfriend!!!" She screeches the last part almost making me deaf "Yes because if you haven't noticed for a few months my friends need me and  my parents are on my arse don't you realize I've been under a lot and can't you understand I'm at my breaking point too!!!"

  
Topping her my throat hurts as well as my head, I turn around and go grab my car keys and wallet shoving my phone in my pocket as well. I hear here come down and just stare at me  
"where are you going" she crosses her arms still staring at me.  
"Maybe we need a little bit of a break. " I say throwing my hoodie on, leaving not letting her finish. Grumbling to myself I decided to head over to Liam's and Louis to cool off a bit.

  
*At Liam's/Louis's*

  
Knocking but just breaking down on their step tears cascading down my face and pulling my hair coughing and putting my face in my hands. Until I hear "Z what's wrong are you okay?".  
I turn to see Liam bent down looking at me with worry filling his face I shake my head "N-no" not being able to breathe as Liam scoops me up and sits me on their couch, He doesn't look any better than me the tiredness in his face is not something you see in him.  
Sniffling and wiping my eyes with my sleeve I try and calm myself down I can feel my phone go off for like the fifth time, I don't even need to look at it but know that its Perrie I take my phone and the anger swells within me.

  
I don't know but the next thing I know I throw my phone as hard as I can against the wall and collapsed back on the couch pulling at my hair.  
"Zayn!" Louis' voice fills the empty room as he rushes to me pulling him into his side "what's been going on with you lately" he asks rubbing my shoulder looking down at me with worry.

  
"I-its just P-Perrie and me I d-don't know why she's s-so mad at me a-all of a s-sudden" whispering quietly as Liam holds my hand sitting on the opposite side of me. Rubbing my hand giving me sad smile "it's okay Zayn maybe you do need a bit of space you can stay here as long as you need to" Liam says smiling and pulling me in for a hug.  
Nodding knowing that is the only thing at this point I mean I love Perrie I'm not going to leave her and she knows that...I hope...." when are we seeing Haz and Ni?" Looking up at the two putting my hand on my cheek.

  
Liam sighs and shakes his head smiling whispering "they are coming home" tears pricking his eyes as Louis pats his shoulders smiling but also crying biting his lip to hold it back. "They are coming back?!" Getting up smiling as they hug me. "The doctors are letting them come home but they do have counseling and therapy to go to still. " Liam says   
"Let's go see them" Louis grins grabbing his Toms and his keys as Liam follows with me behind them smiling like a fool. I look around as see the fans really have backed off  
"So Simon took care of the fans and the paparazzi?" Whispering shoving my hands in my pockets.

Liam nods then turns back to his phone "I don't know how he's managed to keep them back this long but he said it won't last long so we don't have that much time" Louis sighs pushing his fringe out of his face.

  
*skip the ride*

  
*Louis Tomilson*

  
Sighing grabbing my phone and keys latching onto Liam's hand looking down at the ground as we walk into the hospital. "I can't believe they are coming home boo" Liam smiles but then it falls when he sees me and the worry fills in.  
"Are you okay boo?" He nudges me as we walk to the lounge area for the patients. Nodding as Zayn is looking at me with the same expression "everything's fine guys let's just get them and go" I say into the floor, they nod but still don't seem convinced.  
"Hey, Justin!" I look up seeing Zayn and Justin hug and smile at each other. "Hey, Lou. " Justin says smiling but fades quickly and he puts his hand on my shoulder "are you okay?" He looks into my eyes with worry. Nodding and smiling "yeah I'm fine just tired".

  
I look back at the ground but look up when I see Haz and Ni walk in holding hands laughing. That makes me smile and run up to them pulling them in for a bone-crushing hug laughing and smiling. "Oof hey Lou" Niall smiles as he hugs me "I missed you guys" looking at both of them. Dr.Keller and Taylor walk in smiling "Well I can see that Harry and Niall know they are going home" he sits down pulling out a couple of bags.

  
Giving them to Liam, "These are their pills also Harry and Niall have scheduled counseling and therapy for awhile" looking at them then giving his clipboard to Taylor. "So they are okay right?" Justin pipes up but looks down playing with his sleeve. I can feel my stomach growl but hope no one hears it this is about Haz and Ni, but I'm not that lucky as Liam looks at me giving me 'you're hungry' look but ignoring it looking back at the doctor nodding my head.

  
"So are there any questions. " the doctor says looking around and smiling "well then you two are free to go" he gets up and Taylor smiles "Bye guys you guys have made it very far" Harry and Niall wave at her as she waves and leaves us. "Well, are you lads ready to head out Simon says he'll give you lads a longer break until you guys are mentally stable. " Liam says texting then looking back at me pulling my arm "we can meet in the parking lot in a few" he smiles as he pulls me out of the room.

  
Turning around with a serious expression covers his face "Lou..please tell me you haven't been doing it again" he slowly grabs my hand but I push him away shaking my head "No of course not just with everything going on I haven't been able to eat" looking anywhere but at Liam. He looks at me but grabs my hand leading me out of the hospital where the others are waiting.

  
"There you guys are"Harry comes up to us smiling and Harry's smiles are always contagious. "Yeah just talking so you lads wanna catch a movie back at our flat?" I say smiling and seeing everyone else nodded.

  
We all have secrets...some even we are ashamed of.

  
*back at their flat*

  
*Liam Payne*

  
I knew it Lou hasn't been eating again, and he's trying to hide it because of Haz and Ni's return. "Okay, lads what do you wanna watch?" I look around and seeing everyone shrug their shoulders except Harry who looks at me and I know that look. I grab The Notebook that making Harry and Justin smile, Zayn sitting on the chair Harry and Niall cuddled on the loveseat Justin laying on the floor and Louis cuddled into my side on the couch.

  
Through the movie with Harry and Justin watching the others slowly drifting off to sleep. Guess everyone's sleeping over..I hear a growling sound and it coming from Louis small figure "Oh Louis" rubbing his side as his head rests on my lap.

  
*30 minutes later*

  
I hear muffled voices and see that Zayn is gone, but then the voices get higher and soon it turns into screaming that waking everyone up and we slowly creep upstairs all surrounding the bedroom where he's at soon hearing a crash and crying that making us open the door seeing a broken mirror his smashed phone right by it and him on the floor crying.

  
"Zayn!" Harry and Niall say running over to him pulling him off the floor hugging him. "What happened Z?" I say holding his hand speaking softly. "S-she cheated on m-me" is all that was said and we hug him trying to get him to calm down.  
Zayn is sleeping on the couch and we are watching a movie with everyone quiet.."Guys everything will be okay" I say causing everyone to turn around looking at me with sad looks. "Justin you haven't told us about much since you came back from tour. " I say trying to lift the quiet mood  
"Well, it's been tiring but everything is getting back to normal" Justin says looking at Niall and smiling causing him to smile. "That's great why don't we hang out before we have to get back on tour?" Whispering so we don't wake Zayn.

  
Everyone smiles "how about the beach?" Niall says looking at Harry laughing. "Wait what about the fans?" I say shoving my phone in my pocket. "Well, we can just go to my pool?" Justin says getting up and going to the kitchen nonchalantly. Everyone follows him "yeah that sounds awesome" Niall chirps in smiling and laughing, everyone nods. "So where is it?" I asked resting my hands on the counter. "Oh it's at my house in Hawaii" he smiles seeing everyone even get more excited.

  
"Someone needs to tell Simon what's going on tho. " a groggy voice says. "Oh Z your up are you okay?" Niall asks hugging him. "Yeah, I'm fine. " Zayn says trying to smile but fails. "Do you want to talk about it?" He shakes head and lays his head on Justin's head.  I call Simon and catch him up on everything and he says the usual 'I'm here if you need me' 'you only have a week then its back to work for the three of you' even a 'are you serious?' kind of thing  
What really happened with Zayn...

  
*Justin Bieber*

  
I call Emily and my managers telling them I'm heading Hawaii with my friends and I'm going to use the jet. "Yeah Jay that's fine I've dealt with the media and fans but you only get a week I mean it Justin. " Nolan says sternly. "Okay bye" hanging up and seeing the last person I want to hear calling me...  
My Mother.....  
I don't know if I want to answer I'm packing right now I told the others to meet me over at my place so we can leave but she's been calling me for the past few days I mean I miss Jazmyn and Jaxon but after what she said about me there's no way I'll forgive her, but I can't take any more of her calls so I'll just get it over with.  
"Hello" I sighed sitting on the bed looking at pictures of my siblings smiling. "Justin! Sweetie, you finally answered I want to aplo-"

I cut her off "no mother what you did you knew exactly what you cared more about the money than you ever did then when it stopped coming to YOU, you threw me to the side well not any more" falling onto the floor sighing. "Justin...I knew but I've changed and your siblings really do miss you, Jay".  
Hearing that I break down in tears "really?" I smile "yes Jay they want to see you" she says "well I'm going on a trip with some friends I'll be back in a week then we can talk" I get up grabbing my suitcase and heading out to the couch waiting for everyone else to get here "Okay Jay have fun Goodbye I love you" she hangs up and I just stare at the blank TV screen. Smiling like an idiot but I don't care.

  
Hearing a knock on the door "Come In!" I say sitting on the couch smiling. The guys pack in laughing and joking. "Hey, Jay you ready to go?" Zayn says sitting on the couch next to me. "Yeah yeah totally cool let's head to the jet" getting up with everyone smiling heading into the car.  
It's really happening...

  
*skipping the ride*

  
Parked at where the jet is we pile out and get on the jet all the guys still laughing about something Louis said: "so she actually said that?" Niall says in between laughs sitting on the couch with Harry next to him. "Well, of course, it's not like I wasn't going to say anything she needed to be told" Louis laughs as Liam smiles at him sitting across from them. "Oh, Lou. " I say laughing, sitting down looking out the window smiling...

  
*4 hours later*

  
Everyone is asleep except me of course. I look around seeing everyone asleep I really wish it wasn't so hard for me to fall asleep. Sighing and grabbing my laptop signing into Twitter scrolling through millions of tweets like 'what happened to Justin' or 'Is he okay?' I reply to a few tweets knowing I'll pay for it later but I mean they are my fans they have a right to know Looking at my phone reading 4:30 am knowing we have a few hours left I try and go to sleep and eventually do with a smile on my face.

  
*3 hours later*

  
*Zayn Malik*  
My head hurts and knowing that Perrie doesn't want me anymore doesn't really help at all but try to shrug it off I get up and go to the kitchen grabbing some water. Going and waking everyone else up finding out that we are here, "Hey lads wake up" shaking Justin and Liam as they slowly wake up. Moving over to Harry "Haz wake up we are here". "Finally my legs were falling asleep" Liam says tiredly stretching with Louis yawning.  
"Oh, boy Niall sleeps like he's dead. " I say still shaking him as Harry joins in and soon it turns into tickling "I'm awake I'm awake!!" Niall says laughing so hard he can't breathe.  
Getting off the jet with my luggage laughing with Liam as we see Justin frozen looking at women who are a few feet away and the anger in his eyes are clear. "Guys, do you think that's his mum?" Harry whispers and we nod "it has to be I mean he talks a lot about how much he hates her. " I say gripping my suitcase knowing exactly how Justin feels.

  
*Justin Bieber*  
"What the hell are you doing here?" I seeth trying to keep my cool with my friends watching but she makes me so mad. "Jay I brought some people who want to see you" she smiles stepping aside seeing Jazmyn and Jaxon and they run to me as soon as they see me.  
"Jay!" They both smile hugging me tighter. I fight back crying like an idiot, "I missed you guys" I whisper knowing if I speak any louder I'll start crying. "Well, mom said that you would be here so we came with" Jazmyn smiles and laughs latching onto my arm. Looking up at my mom "you didn't have to do this" I smile for the first time in a while at my mother.  
"I wanted to I know I owe you an apology and I wanted to make it up to, keeping them away from you was a huge mistake and I'm sorry. " she says walking over to me and I can see that Harry and Liam are trying not to cry as well.  
"I forgive you. " I say getting holding Jazmyn and hugging my mom and I have to say I missed this.

  
Jaxon pulls my short leg "what's up buddy?" I crouch down ruffling his hair "could we play in the pool too?" He gives me those puppy eyes. "Yeah if the guys don't mind?" I turn to them and they all shake their heads "we don't mind at all" Zayn says "they are adorable!" Niall squeals as he plays with Jaxon. "Well, I guess we don't mind then?" Turning back my mom "well I best be off" she says walking to a car. "Why?" I put down Jazmyn and follow her. "Well I have some meetings to attend here" she sighs.  
"Oh okay, you're going to come to get them after?" I point to them and she nods "I'll be back in a couple hours" she gets in the car and drives off.

  
I turned around and see the cutest thing in the world Niall and Harry are running around chasing Jazmyn while Liam, Louis, and Zayn are chasing Jaxon towards the pool and they all jump in together laughing as the sun sets slowly being dragged in later by Zayn and soon everyone is having fun and messing around...  
Now, this is something I could never get tired of...


	5. Flashbacks

*Niall Horan*

  
These past few days in Hawaii is really what we all need before we go back on our Europe Tour,things have been a little crazy but I've been getting through I mean me and harry are still getting through but there is no way I could ever leave him, no matter what happens I'll always be there for him. Sitting on the beach behind Justin's house just looking out remembering how harry was all shy and anxious to ask me out it was adorable....

  
-flashback- 

  
"Niall come back here!" Harry screams at me as he's chasing me down the beach "if you can catch me a slowpoke!" I laugh running but somehow harry got faster wrapping his hands around my waist smiling and catching his breath, " you are something Niall James" he hugs me. "I know I am" smiling proudly turning around and seeing his green eyes up close. standing here barefoot at the beach with the boy I've loved for so long. "Ni" Harry's sweet voice fills my ears and smiling. "Yes harry?" I ask quietly stepping a bit away from him looking into his eyes as I do it, "Niall I have something I have wanted to tell you for a while" he holds both of my hands smiling even bigger...  
......

  
"I Love You..."

He finally says and I could feel the tears stream down my face and smiling covering my face laughing "I-I-I love you t-too" saying in between breathes as Harry picks me up hugging me spinning around I haven't been this happy in a while. kissing harry finally knowing he's mine makes everything I've been though worth it.  
Harry letting me go as I run into the water "can't catch me!" I shout laughing playing in the saltwater enjoying being with the one I love more than anything.."oh really?" Harry raises his eyebrow shedding his shirt as he darts after me splashing me laughing not knowing how this moment could get any better.. he hugs me from behind getting me all wet "ooh eww Haz" I laugh "I'm all wet" I stick my tongue out at him and he just chuckles and shakes his head. 

  
"I still think you look perfect" I kiss his cheek and he blushes majorly. "awww you are so sweet Haz" I cuddle into him as we walk back home holding hands and never wanting to let go. 

  
I finally snap out of that sweet memory, turning around and seeing a sleepy smiley harry as he sits next to me doesn't say anything but he holds my hand still with that smile of his after about 15 minutes he turns to me and kisses my cheek. " I want to get better..not just for me but for you" not being able to contain my happiness I hug him ending up with me on top of him, "I knew you were still in there Haz" trying to contain my happy tears. Not knowing that the rest of the guys are watching from a few feet away and they are all smiling while I and Haz get up we all hug and they start to tear up " I'm so happy for you guys" Li says with a big smile.  
"Thanks, guys and thanks for everything" we all head back in, we all sit on the couch and start talking like we used to.

  
*Louis Tomlinson*

  
it starts to get late so Justin let us spend the night "Thanks Jay" Li says as Jay nods and smiles, that sweet Canadian. Ni pipes up that he's hungry so we decide to order food and the thought of eating makes me wanna puke but I try to not seem so suspicious even Li doesn't know about my problem but I have it under control... I think as everyone starts eating I try to but my stomach doesn't want that garbage "I'll be back, Jay where's your bathroom at?" he smiles with a noodle streaming down his chin. " down the hall third door on the right".

  
I smile as I quickly pace to the bathroom, looking at the door and sliding down reaching for the toilet as my food comes back up and slowly feeling better as I flush the toilet. I rest my head on the cool toilet seat closing my eyes feeling the room spinning and wanting Li. After about 10 minutes I slowly get up so they don't worry.

Looking into the mirror I can hear the guys laughter so they haven't noticed my absence, I see a pale and sickly looking lad. I shake my head as I see my collarbones sticking out more than they did and I splash my face with cold water and slowly walk out as I feel everyone's eyes on me...

"Lou..are you okay?" Liam's soft voice rings in my ears and I just focus on him, I walk over to him and I latch onto him as I feel him run his hands through my hair "Lou, you're burning up, let's get you to bed" he picks me up as I faintly hear the guys "Hope you get better Lou" and "good night" little did they know what was really going on and I don't really know how I kept this up. But I just blew that I wanted everyone to focus on Haz and Ni not me but I fucked that up too, "Lou you haven't been eating again have you?"

  
"No..." I said shyly as he puts me in the bed, "Lou you know you need to eat and I love you the way you are you don't need to get skinnier" he kisses my cheek, I love this boy for many reasons and it does suck when we have to hide our relationship during tour but it's nice when we can be together. I tear up and latch onto his hand as he's about to leave, "Don't leave me" I say quietly as he smiles and sits on his knees running his hands through my hair he knows that calms me down.

"Lou, you need start eating you don't want to go back do you?" I shudder remembering last year I ended up there for two months and the boys had to go on tour without me it was chaos and knowing that would cause the boys even more stress which we all are under I mean we get homesick, we get crabby and we get sick but we stick through it together.

  
"I'll try Li.." I smile weakly only to reveal his smile, which makes everything okay as I drift off to sleep.  
*Liam*  
Louis has been gone for a good 15 minutes and I start to worry and I think the other guys can sense it too. "What's wrong Liam?" Zayn asks... I just gesture towards the bathroom and he automatically knows and worries cover his face. "Is everything okay guys?" Justin asks and we all turn to each other but we know we need to tell him whether Louis wants him to know or not.

*Niall Horan*

  
These past few days in Hawaii is really what we all need before we go back on our Europe Tour, things have been a little crazy but I've been getting through I mean me and Harry are still getting through but there is no way I could ever leave him, no matter what happens I'll always be there for him. Sitting on the beach behind Justin's house just looking out remembering how Harry was all shy and anxious to ask me out it was adorable...

  
-flashback- 

  
"Niall come back here!" harry screams at me as he's chasing me down the beach "if you can catch me, slowpoke!" I laugh running but somehow harry got faster wrapping his hands around my waist smiling and catching his breath, " you are something Niall James" he hugs me. "I know I am" smiling proudly turning around and seeing his green eyes up close. standing here barefoot at the beach with the boy I've loved for so long. "Ni" Harry's sweet voice fills my ears and smiling. "Yes harry?" I ask quietly stepping a bit away from him looking into his eyes as I do it, "Niall I have something I have wanted to tell you for a while" he holds both of my hands smiling even bigger...

  
......

  
"I Love You..."

he finally says and I could feel the tears stream down my face and smiling covering my face laughing "I-I-I love you t-too" saying in between breathes as harry picks me up hugging me spinning around I haven't been this happy in a while. kissing Harry finally knowing he's mine makes everything I've been through worth it.  
Harry letting me go as I run into the water "can't catch me!" I shout laughing playing in the saltwater enjoying being with the one I love more than anything.."oh really?" Harry raises his eyebrow shedding his shirt as he darts after me splashing me laughing not knowing how this moment could get any better.. he hugs me from behind getting me all wet "ooh eww Haz" I laugh "I'm all wet" I stick my tongue out at him and he just chuckles and shakes his head.   
"I still think you look perfect" I kiss his cheek and he blushes majorly. "awww you are so sweet Haz" I cuddle into him as we walk back home holding hands and never wanting to let go. 

  
I finally snap out of that sweet memory, turning around and seeing a sleepy smiley harry as he sits next to me doesn't say anything but he holds my hand still with that smile of his after about 15 minutes he turns to me and kisses my cheek. " I want to get better..not just for me but for you" not being able to contain my happiness I hug him ending up with me on top of him, "I knew you were still in there Haz" trying to contain my happy tears. Not knowing that the rest of the guys are watching from a few feet away and they are all smiling while I and Haz get up we all hug and they start to tear up " I'm so happy for you guys" Li says with a big smile.  
"Thanks, guys and thanks for everything" we all head back in, we all sit on the couch and start talking like we used to.

  
*Louis*

  
it starts to get late so Justin let us spend the night "Thanks Jay" Li says as Jay nods and smiles, that sweet Canadian. Ni pipes up that he's hungry so we decide to order food and the thought of eating makes me wanna puke but I try to not seem so suspicious even Li doesn't know about my problem but I have it under control... I think as everyone starts eating I try to but my stomach doesn't want that garbage "I'll be back, Jay where's your bathroom at?" he smiles with a noodle streaming down his chin. " down the hall third door on the right".

  
I smile as I quickly pace to the bathroom, looking at the door and sliding down reaching for the toilet as my food comes back up and slowly feeling better as I flush the toilet. I rest my head on the cool toilet seat closing my eyes feeling the room spinning and wanting Li. After about 10 minutes I slowly get up so they don't worry. Looking into the mirror I can hear the guys laughter so they haven't noticed my absence, I see a pale and sickly looking lad. I shake my head as I see my collarbones sticking out more than they did and I splash my face with cold water and slowly walk out as I feel everyone's eyes on me... "Lou..are you okay?" Liam's soft voice rings in my ears and I just focus on him, I walk over to him and I latch onto him as I feel him run his hands through my hair

"Lou, you're burning up, let's get you to bed" he picks me up as I faintly hear the guys "Hope you get better Lou" and "good night" little did they know what was really going on and I don't really know how I kept this up. But I just blew that I wanted everyone to focus on Haz and Ni not me but I fucked that up too, "Lou you haven't been eating again have you?"

  
"No..." I said shyly as he puts me in the bed, "Lou you know you need to eat and I love you the way you are you don't need to get skinnier" he kisses my cheek, I love this boy for many reasons and it does suck when we have to hide our relationship during tour but its nice when we can be together. I tear up and latch onto his hand as he's about to leave, "Don't leave me" I say quietly as he smiles and sits on his knees running his hands through my hair he knows that calms me down.

"Lou, you need start eating you don't want to go back do you?" I shudder remembering last year I ended up there for two months and the boys had to go on tour without me it was chaos and knowing that would cause the boys even more stress which we all are under I mean we get homesick, we get crabby and we get sick but we stick through it together.  
"I'll try Li.." I smile weakly only to reveal his smile, which makes everything okay as I drift off to sleep.

  
*Liam*  
Louis has been gone for a good 15 minutes and I start to worry and I think the other guys can sense it too. "What's wrong Liam?" Zayn asks... I just gesture towards the bathroom and he automatically knows and worries cover his face. "Is everything okay guys?" Justin asks and we all turn to each other but we know we need to tell him whether Louis wants him to know or not. We all turn to Justin and explain Louis whole story he hasn't told many people but I know Justin cares about Louis so we tell him.

\- Louis flashback/story - 

By the age of 15 he was trapped by how he looked to others he wanted to fit in to his new school after a few weeks he had tried out for the soccer team and made it but a few of the members didn't think he deserved to be so high but it started with name calling and got as bad as punching, hitting and kicking. the day Louis would try to cover up the bruises when he went home was hard to do but he, of course, would make up an excuse like "I walked into a door" or "I fell down the stairs" but his mum knew and so did his sisters Lou wasn't clumsy like that so Lottie followed Louis as he went into his room. 

Crossing her arms and stomping her foot at her older brother. He sighs not turning his back to his younger sister "What Lottie?" rubbing his face with his hands tired from school and practice not wanting to deal with Lottie right now "Please go away Lottie" knowing exactly what she was going to ask and not wanting to start another fight with her. she huffs "No Lou I know something's going on and you aren't clumsy Lou, you have been on every soccer team every time we've moved" she starts to get mad that her older brother isn't listening and is lying to her.

"Mum knows somethings up to and your other sisters are as well if I find out who did this to you they will pay for hurting you" she shakes her little fist in the air making him shake his head and smile rubbing his bruises that cover his arms but are covered by his sweatshirt. "I'm fine Lottie I am just worn out and I have a big game tomorrow so I'm going to bed" Lottie sighs and rolls her eyes but leaves, finally he turns around locking his door while he takes off the sweatshirt standing in front of his mirror breaking down in tears as the bruises cover his arms and legs, tears prick his eyes as he crumbles to the ground rocking back and forth remembering the awful names the lads would call him during practice even though he was always at the top of his game which made all of the lads mad and jealous.

"God you loser wannabe think you can come to our school and just waltz into our school and become captain" the others laugh and the remark made "Yeah you fatty" one boy yelled and after that, the comments consumed him that's all he heard in his head " **fat** " " **fat** " he started skipping meals at school and at home practicing harder at soccer towards the end of the year the big soccer tournament would determine the rank of their team. 

Louis by this time had been to a few therapists and had been admitted twice which when he got back there were even bigger rumors were circulating around the school by the time Lou had come back from the second time everyone thought he was a freak and were whisper and giggle as he would walk past in the hallways. He tried to ignore the name calls and laughter he ran into the bathroom at lunch one day and threw up everything his parents made him eat that morning.

"I really am going to be alone forever no one would want me" he rests his head on the cool toilet seat for about ten minutes before getting back up and looking in the mirror, lifting his soccer jersey up to see his collarbones and ribs slowly protruding out he still wasn't satisfied.

He started to feel weak again shaking his heading knowing that the game was tonight and he didn't want to seem like a wimp at school ended he got ready for the game, of course, his family didn't think he was well enough to play but he told them he had to play to fit in with the other lads and his parents finally give up knowing that's how Louis is so they take him to the big game with an uneasy feeling like something is going to go horribly wrong but they brush it off..

"Alright lads lets go out and have fun!" the coach cheered as the other lads high fived each other excluding Louis from the team shake as the team gets on the field and what Louis told me he just remembers running onto the field looking up at the bright lights that lit the field up and passing out, he said the next time he woke up in the hospital seeing all of his family gathered around and his mum crying into his fathers chest as his sisters sniffled holding each other's hands.

"Hello.."

A muffled voice that came from Louis and everyone in the room turned their head to him smiling "Louis" his mum breaks free from his father and rushes to her son as the doctor diagnosed him with anorexia and bulimia, talking to his parents about what happens and how they are going to help him after a long journey he finally became stronger than his anorexia and bulimia the rest of middle school and high school was hell until he finally got the courage to try out on X Factor. 

It wasn't an easy journey, of course, we all became a family and we watched out for each other, about a year go Louis had to go back to the hospital cause he wasn't eating again and that's why we had to cancel the tour early and I'm glad our fans understood why for personal reasons.

*Justin*

I was blown away by what Liam told me it broke my heart to think that sweet Louis was treated so horrid and felt that's what he needed to do to fit in. "I am brokenhearted" I wipe my eyes and look down at my hands "we know Lou is a strong lad and we are by his side through all of it" Niall says smiling only making me smile, I know they have to go back on tour from their hiatus soon and I have full faith that everything will be okay. after we all talk about how we are going to talk to Simon and are going to try and help Louis through this. we all head to bed. not knowing how much Louis was screaming for help behind his smiles and laughter 

Much Love x 


	6. Louis...

*Louis Tomlinson*

I slightly wake up and feel arms wrap around me I open one of my eyes just enough to feel someone's arms wrap around me and I knew those arms they were Li's I turn to see his sleepy face and I smell his aftershave from last night, he looks so worn out and I start to feel that he's been over worrying about me adding to him worrying about Harry and Niall which just furthers my guilt I look down and intertwine our fingers which brings a small smile to my face. 

I gulp loudly and cling onto Liam "You up Lou?" I hear in a rough voice and I nod and look up to see the hottest thing ever. Liam's bedhead and his morning voice to top it off his smile. I rest myself on my elbows and look around at the huge fancy room and then remember we are still with Justin till we must go on tour which is short. Liam snaps me out of my thoughts by kissing my cheek "You okay Lou? you still seem a little pale" cocking my head until it hits me... everyone knows... I get up and start pacing trying to calm myself down.

"Lou" I feel his hand on my arm in his calming voice but no I knew he told Justin... which just pisses me off I couldn't think clearly, I needed to get out and away from everyone "I can’t believe you told him!!" I yell as he backs away shocked at my outburst he tries to come closer to me but I just leave the room and I see everyone's eyes filled with worry and I run to Justin "please don't hate me" I manage to mumble out and he just hugs me while shushing me "Of course I don't hate you Lou, I and glad they told me cause I want to help in any way I can don't feel embarrassed, you can get through this and we are here for you, but his smile does help a little I still feel everyone's eyes on me. Grabbing Justin's shirt and feeling myself shake with not only embarrassment 

Slowly letting go of Justin and I was right they were looking at me and it gets to me quickly the flashbacks of the taunting and teasing but worst of it was the looks I put my hands in my hair and scream making everyone in the room jump and their eyes widen. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" I scream and run out of the house not caring where I head to but if it’s away from them. I open my eyes and I'm on the beach turning around and see two girls around 16 with big smiles on their faces as they hold their sharpies and pictures of me. 

_just sign the pictures and politely excuse yourself...they are your fans keep calm, remembering the articles about when Justin freaked out on fans and how it didn't end well_

 

I quickly wipe my eyes and throw on one of my signatures smiles...you can't smile, or you'll get a million questions which I don't feel like dealing with now. "Hello loves " I say as they blush and giggle "C-could you um give us your autograph " a girl with short blonde hair, freckles and wearing a shirt with me on it says ever so quietly but I can still hear her, I nod and smile "I would love to!' I say in excitement and it really does hit me...these are my fans and I really don't want to let them down I can't run and hide they don't deserve that and for a minute I forget about my problems and I'm happy.

I give them my autograph and take pictures with them and they are both crying, and I hug them "no no no tears love unless they are happy tears" they let go and are sniffling.

I give them one more hug as they run off in the opposite direction smiling as the disappear around the corner and when I look up I see the boys and Justin standing a few meters away and the problems kick back in I turn my back to them and walk further onto the beach, sitting down in the sand as I watch the waves and it slowly calms me down. I feel the breeze through my hair as I'm running my hands through the sand as I feel my body fully calm down doing what my therapist told me to do a tour comes up and with Harry and Niall then adding me to the list it’s a lot to handle.

I get up and dust the sand off me as I walk closer to the water and walking along the edge of the water as I end up at a little beach store I wave and they girl almost screams but I quickly put my finger up to my lips and she closes her mouth "Sorry love I would just like a little alone time could I have a water?" she nods and hands me one but as I give her the money she shakes her head and whispers "on the house" I smile as she hands me a napkin and a pen, giving her my autograph and waving goodbye as I walk in the water.

Running a hand through my hair as I start to head back to the house seeing as the sun is setting and it's getting dark. After about three minutes I walk into the house and everyone's watching a movie and they seem so engrossed in it that they don't notice me which is great, don't get me wrong I do like attention but not all the time.

I tiptoe to the bathroom, so I can shower but I feel a hand wrap around my waist and they turn me around and I see Liam biting his lip which is his sign that he's worried about me, but I unwrap his hand from me and held his hand in mine smiling, looking up at him as he cocks his head to the side and by this time everyone is looking at us just what I didn't want. I detach myself from Liam and walk towards the bathroom and I hear Niall's voice "Lou are you okay?" I hear the worry in his voice, but I run a hand through my hair and smiling "Yes mates" I nod and go into the bathroom to shower. 

_I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine_

 

I walk to the large mirror and see a pale, fragile boy I don't feel the tears escape my eyes, but my grey shirt shows all the tear stains. "I-I need my mum" I shakily take my phone out of my pocket and press on my mum's face slowly putting it up to my ear hearing the ringing then my mum's sweet "Hello sweet boo bear!" her excited voice but then she hears my sniffling "Lou what’s wrong!" I attempt to speak but the words aren't coming out. "M-mum it's happening a-again" I say quietly and with that, she knows what’s going on. "oh, sweet boy you need to get some help before you have to go on tour, when do you have to go back?" I grip my phone so tightly that my knuckles turn white. "three d-days" I mumble.

"Oh no Lou you need to call Simon you can't go on tour with this going on you'll get worse and you boys are going to Europe if you don't call Simon I will" she says and that worries me " O-okay mum I will" I say running a hand through my hair. "Good Boo bear please get some sleep it's getting late" she goes back to her sweet mum voice. "Okay mum thank you" I wipe the tears from my eyes "I love you boo bear" she says as I reply, "I love you mum". 

I put my phone back in my pocket and start to take my clothes off and stepping into the shower letting the hot water hit my back and slouch down sitting on the tile floor, running my hands through my hair as I exhale. "Maybe she's right, maybe I do need help before tour, but I would hate to have the lads to deal with the "where's Louis?" question, In the middle of my thoughts I hear the door open and I automatically wrap my arms around my body, feeling hip bones poking me "Lou you okay love?" I hear Liam's sleepy voice "Y-yeah" just the hot water helps I sniffle wipe the water off my face.

Suddenly, I feel arms wrap around me and I turn to see a shirtless Liam "Baby your jeans are soaked" I say as he holds on tighter like he's going to lose me "I don't care" he says in a flat tone. We sit there for an hour while I cry in his arms...

"We will get through this the other mates are here for you and we will call Simon later today" he says kissing my cheek and turning the water off "Let's go to bed it's late" I just nod and get out of the shower while Liam wraps a towel around me, looking up and seeing that sweet smile and the water dripping off his six-pack

"Is everything okay Lou" catching me out of daze "O-of course" I try to say nonchalantly but he sees through it so easily "Mm sure" he raises an eyebrow and smirks sexily "I am you perv!" I playful slap him in the shoulder and run to our room with him on my tail, “Ah Li!” I squeak as he grabs me and hugs me “Let me put clothes on babes!” I try to say through laughs. “There's that laugh and your cute smile” I smile wider knowing that was his intention, letting me go I throw on some boxers while Liam changes “I’m sorry your clothes got soaked” I mumble hoping he didn’t hear me but to my luck he did “Lou” he comes over to me in his basketball shorts “It’s not a big deal your smile and happiness is all worth it” I smile wide knowing that’s what he always used to say when we started dating.

 “I love you, Liam James”

I squeak out as he laughs and ruffles my hair “anything for my babe” while he kisses me wrapping his hands around my waist and throwing my arms around his neck. He taps the back my leg signaling me to jump and I do, wrapping my legs around him while he kisses me down my neck letting out a little moan but quickly covering my mouth just as things are getting heated he sets me down on the bed and crotches down to my level “You meanie” I cross my arms and he just laughs “I would love to continue babe but I’m exhausted and it’s 4 am” I sigh and nod he walks over to his suitcase and grabs his basketball shirt that has his last name and the numbers 93 under it.

Throwing it on and its too big for me but I love it so much the smell of my Li, he comes back with a towel wrap around his hair as he’s rubbing his hair “Let’s go to bed babes” I comply and jump over to the over side of the big fluffy bed patiently waiting for him to come and once he does I latch onto him quickly and he pulls me closer to him and kisses me “Night boo” he says sleepily. “Night Li love you” he smiles “Love you” the last words he says before he totally knocks out, but I just admire how someone can be so adorable in public but sexy. I smile and rest my head on his chest before closing my eyes and drifting off with the one I love next to me.

I awaken to the sun peeking through the window and I stretch, yawning in the process looking over and seeing Liam is gone and looking back at the clock it reads 9:45 and I smell French Toast and the smell makes me sick to my stomach but I can’t let Liam know that I haven’t eaten yet or the other lads Jumping out of the big bed throwing off Liam’s shirt and putting it on the bed, Grabbing my red jeans and striped shirt,  heading into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth “Where are they” looking around the room and seeing my toms “There they are” I grab them and go down the stairs hearing Niall laughing while Zayn is telling one of his many stories

 "Are you kidding Z?" Niall says laughing while holding Harry's hand; I smile at the thought of that. “Babe” I am snapped out of daze when I see Liam setting a plate of French toast in front of me and I look around and everyone is smiling, laughing and generally look happy.

_Come on Louis don’t make another scene_

As I look down at the food I feel sick and the smell doesn’t really help any “Lou you okay love?” Liam says rubbing my back with a worried expression painted on his face. “Y-yeah just a little tired is all" I look down at the food cutting a little piece off and putting in my mouth, trying to calm down my empty stomach. 

As I look down at the food I feel sick and the smell doesn’t really help any “Lou you okay love?” Liam says rubbing my back with a worried expression painted on his face. “Y-yeah just a little tired is all" I look down at the food cutting a little piece off and putting in my mouth, trying to calm down my empty stomach.  But I can’t I can feel it coming I drop the fork running to the bathroom as fast as I can not really caring anymore if they are coming. Bending down and throwing up, knowing they are all behind me I can feel them like now’s the time to worry about that.

After about ten minutes I stand up grabbing the sink and seeing my mate's faces filled with worry and shock, “I’m Fine” I mumble washing my mouth with mouthwash. “No, you aren’t” breaking the silence is Liam of course “You need to get help Lou” he slowly walks over to me, hugging me and just faintly I hear him trying to hold in his tears and hearing that makes me want to get better. I kiss Li’s cheek looking around at everyone “You’re right, I want to beat this and get better” I say breaking the silence and everyone smile’s and Liam’s arms wrap around me tighter. “I’m so proud of you Boo Bear” I smile and kiss his cheek detaching myself from him “I’m going to go call Simon” everyone nods knowing that I need to do this.

I run a hand through my hair grabbing my phone off the nightstand in our room and heading to the balcony, “You can do this You can do this” I click on Simon’s face and put it up to my ear after two rings; I hear his stern voice “Hello Louis” yes, he can scare me a little but he’s my boss so he has a right to know but I try my hardest not to have my voice crack “Hey Simon I need to discuss something with you” I say swallowing really hard “Okay Louis what is it?” I breathe in and out before spilling everything and I mean everything by the time I’m almost done I’m in tears “I-I’m so sorry Simon but I-I need help and I-I can’t make the start tour date”.

_Silence…_

“Louis you’re well being is more important than the tour but we will need to start without you we can’t put it off anymore do you know when you will be back” I play with the end of my shirt “That’s just it I know we are headed back tomorrow but I don’t know when I will” I can tell he’s listening closely “Well Louis we will say that you are gone for personal reasons but get better soon bud” I smile at that he really does care “’I’m sorry I haven’t told you until now but with Justin going back on tour too and everything” “Mm I see well everything will work out Lou you just focus on getting better I have to get back to work thank you for telling me” I nod and smile “Okay bye Simon” I end the call but the fear and anxiety leave my body and my legs give out “Lou!” Liam screams and runs to me, picking me up carefully and setting me on one of the chairs “What happened?” I put my phone in my pocket as everyone else comes out “Did everything go well?” Zayn asks and I just nod.

“He listened and understood, but he did say that your mates will have to go on tour” they all frown “We don’t want to go on tour without our Lou” Niall pipes up and I smile “Thanks Ni and everyone” I get up and we group hug "Justin?" he looks up "Yeah Lou?" I walk over and hug him "when you come back from tour we need to hang out" that puts a big smile on his face. 

 

“Yes, we do” he says as the sunsets I see flashes like cameras and shouting I edge toward the railing of the balcony and it’s the paparazzi _shit shit shit._ “How the hell did they find us?” Justin says dialing what I hope to be Sean; “This is bad” Zayn says crossing his arms and running back in the house “everyone get in” Harry shouts as we all run in, closing the balcony doors “This is great” Zayn sighs rubbing his head but turns to me “Lou we have to get you out of here” I am in shock and cock my head “Why??” he walks over to me putting his hands on my shoulders “There’s like four out there now right?” I nod “Imagine what it will be like tomorrow morning when you're supposed to be over there” my eyes widen as he nods “Shit!” I shout.

 “Li can you help me pack I got to get out of here” He nods running over to me as we both run in the room “Okay Li call Paul and I’ll pack” he nods and kisses me “I love you Boo” and I just kiss him back like my life depends on it. “I love you” I say gasping for air; Liam grabs his phone and is ringing Paul as I frantically throw all my clothes in my suitcase and bag after about fifteen minutes.

“Okay thanks again Paul” Liam says as he turns to me “He’ll be here in ten minutes. We both nod holding each other’s hands as we run out into the living to see the boys guarding all the doors and by the adorning screaming, yelling and crying of our fans with paparazzi as well “’Zayn, I love you!” “OMG Justin!!” “Harry, you are so hot!” “Niall, can I have your autograph!” “Louis!” all the screaming starts to give me a headache and I feel the room spinning “L-Li” his eyes widen as he catches me just as I am about to hit the floor.

 “Baby are you ok?” I shake my head as he carries me back to the bedroom, laying me on the bed about twenty minutes go by as the screaming slowly subsides as well with the camera flashes “Are you, ready babes?” I nod as my heads not pounding anymore we both walk into the living to see the mates sitting on the floor and Niall laying on the floor panting “G-guys that was crazy” Justin says leaning his back to the front door, wiping his forehead and the other boys nodded still trying to catch their breath.

“Mates, what happened?” I say gripping my suitcase handle “so many girls” “Tried to call Sean but he didn’t answer” Jay says walking into the kitchen and grabbing six water bottles.

“Here guys” he says tossing them one by one to the boys and handing us ours “Thanks Jay” Niall says still not having moved from the floor; “Oh Ni” I say going over to him and laying next to him; staring at the ceiling. “Come on Lou, it’s quieted down we can probably get you to my car” “Okay Li” I get up and feeling my phone ding, digging it out of my pocket to see a text from Lottie.

“Hey, Lou! Mum told us what’s been happening, and we want you to know that we all love you and know you can beat this much love Lottie x”

 I tear up and smile like an idiot but seeing that text and knowing that there are people who want me to get better and that are willing to help me in any way they can. I grab my suitcase and bag as I make my way over Liam “Mates thanks for helping me realize that I need this and for being there through so much, but I do promise I will get better and we will rock our next tour!” I shout causing all my friends to run and hug me. Looking up and seeing Justin just standing there “And of course Jay” I say, and he runs over and joins the hug.

 

“You ready to go?” Liam asks, grabbing my bag and walking. I nod and walk to him turning around at my friends. “Thanks for everything” I hug them all and walk towards the door. “You can do it” Zayn says, and I nod and smile as I open the door and I see flashes and screaming “Liam!” I say, and he shields me pushing through the multiple crowds of people “Lou we are going to run to my car” he whispers in my ear, gripping my hand as we both start running and we make it locking both doors as we try to catch our breath. “That was something” I say between breathes “Haz texted me and I sent him the address of the treatment center”

He starts up the engine and starts to drive, I swallow hard and he sees me start to shake “Hey it’s okay babe you are so strong and I love you” with one hand on the wheel and the other holding my hand I feel safe “Thank you Li” I bring his hand to my lips, kissing his knuckles “Thank you for believing in me and don’t have too much fun on tour without me” I frown at the thought of that “It will suck but Simon suggested that Harry takes over your parts for the tour is that okay boo?”

Is that okay? No it’s not I want to be going on tour but I have to be here but I doubt the mates and Simon would even let me on tour now that they know except the fans which are the ones that don’t need to know “Yeah that’s fine” I lie “Harry can hit your voice range the best out of the rest of us but your voice does it the best” I blush at that comment “Awe Liam” I reach over and kiss his cheek.

“So, what is this place called?” asking him not really having a choice into going I mean yeah, I need to get better, but I still feel bad about leaving them on the tour “Boo we will be fine please don’t feel bad” I cock my head and turn to him “How did you-” He shakes his head and smiles “I know you Lou” stopping at the red light.

“We’ve been together for two years, of course, I should know my boo by now” he intertwines his fingers with mine “I will call you every day after the show and text as much as I can” I honestly couldn’t get any better than this man. Rubbing my thumb along his knuckles “So what’s the name of the center?” I ask as I watch the lights from the shops and cars as it gets even darker. Liam yawns “River Center Clinic it’s a 2-day car ride that’s why we are taking the jet and the guys are coming” I smile being able to be with my friends for a little while longer “And Jay?” Liam shakes his head “He had to go back early to start for tomorrow” as he turns the car into the airport.

“There’s Paul’s car” He parks next to him and gets out, grabbing my bag while I grab my suitcase and I walk over to hold Liam’s hand “There’s our Lou” Niall says and hearing his thick accent makes me laugh “Hey mates and Paul” he nods “Get better bud” I nod back smiling “I will cause I have you guys, my family and our fans” we group hug “One Direction can get through anything” Harry says ruffling Niall’s blonde locks “Haz!” we all laugh.

“Well, who’s ready?” Liam says turning to me giving my hand a little squeeze “I am” I speak up and they smile “Louis you are so strong” Zayn says, and I run over and hug him almost knocking him over “haha Lou” he hugs me back. “Well everyone time to get on the jet and the rest of the boys I’ll see you back to get ready for the tour” hearing the word tour makes me sad but I feel arms wrap around me throwing me over their shoulder “Liam!” I yell kicking and trying to get free, but he doesn’t budge he just walks into the jet and Niall gets my suitcase.

“Liam please” I say through laughter as he sets me in a seat as he sits next to me holding my hand. “We will all miss you on tour Lou” Harry says wrapping his arms around Niall’s waist causing him to laugh “I’ll miss you, lads, too” and after about six hours of straight laughing and talking everyone passes out except me I just bring my legs to my chest and look out the window at the amazing view.

“Babe why are still up” Liam pushes himself up on his elbows with his hair a mess and his eyes barely open “Just a lot on my mind” he runs a hand through his hair and sits all the way up “Come cuddle with me Boo” I can’t turn him down especially when he looks so adorable, I take off my hoodie and snuggle next to him as soon as my head hit the pillow I was out, clinging on to Liam like I was going to lose him.

Being woken up to the sun coming in my eyes “Morning Lou” Niall says with his morning hair, I can’t help but laugh “Morning” I get up grabbing my change of clothes and heading to the bathroom to change, throwing my clothes on the floor as I quickly change into some ripped jeans and a white V-neck white my denim jacket as I slip on my white converse. Looking in the mirror and see collar bones starting to poke out…. again…. okay I do need to get help as I lightly run my finger across them I just look so lifeless and sick, trying to distract myself from the awful appearance I run a hand through my hair and quickly brush my teeth.

 Walking out and seeing Liam on his phone, Zayn has in earbuds in, Harry’s still sleeping, and Niall is reading. I go and sit by myself to just think which I know not what I need to do more of, but all of this is happening so fast, I looked down at the matching bracelets that he got us for our two-month anniversary. I run my hands down my thighs fuck it I get up and walk over to Liam who is so engrossed in his phone that he doesn’t see me coming which is perfect I tiptoe behind the seat and I swing my arms around him kissing him all over his face “Oh! Lou!” He laughs as he kisses me back, grabbing my waist and flipping me over landing in his lap.

“Wow” I am amazed he just smirks and kisses my cheek going back to his phone. I shrug my shoulders and rest my head on his chest just watching the clouds “And Haz I think you’ll be a great replacement for me” Haz smiles as he sips his coffee “Thanks Lou but I could not top your voice” I shake my head “You guys will do great”.

After about two more hours of just lounging around and talking we finally arrive at the Clinic I get up slowly trying to swallow as Liam grabs my hand leading me down the stairs and in front of a fancy building with huge wooden doors as we both walk to the entrance and Zayn hands me my suitcase “You are in good hands Lou” I nod “Group hug?” and they all nod coming in for a group hug just as we all let go a nice looking lady comes out with long brown hair and a slim black skirt and shirt on “Hello lads! You guys must be with Louis?” she asks, and we nod “Where’s Louis” that’s when I shyly raised my hand and her eyes look right at me as her face makes a little frown but turns it right back into a smile I don’t know if the others saw that, but I did.

“Hello Louis” she motions to me to come toward her and I do “I am Mila and I will be helping you through this” I smile a little but instantly wanting to be back in Liam’s arms but I just nod “We will call you later Lou and I’ll tell Jay okay? Liam says walking to me and hugging me and I see him getting teared up “Thank you Li” I put my finger under his chin and kiss him, hugging him one last time as he lets go of my hand, walking over to the group.

I cover my face trying not to show myself cry “It’s okay Louis you will beat this I Love You Boo” is the last thing he says. “We all are going to be here for you even if we aren’t physically here” Zayn says and the other three nod, agreeing with him.

“Okay lads we have to head back if we don’t want to be late” Paul shouts and the lads start to walk back to the jet “Would you like to head to your room Louis” Mila asks politely but I shake my head not taking my eyes off the jet as it lifts off the ground and starts to head back.

 

_I’ll get better lads…I promise_

 

_Much Love x_


	7. Europe

*Liam*

“I don’t know if I can be away from Louis for this long” as I watch out the jet window “well none of us want to either but Louis health is more important like Simon said” Harry says playing with Niall’s hair. “We can do this lads and hey maybe he will get out early he sounded like he really wanted to beat this” Niall chimes in looking from his book and we all nod “We do need to figure out everything else before the tour starts I’m not sure where we are going first” Zayn says rolling his neck “Well we can call Simon right before we arrive” I say totally exhausted and it seems like the others are too but it really just doesn’t feel right not having Louis with me.

 I mean he’ll be In Cali and I’ll be in Europe I sigh as I bring my knees to my chest, twirling the bracelet that says Louis name on it “It’ll be okay Li” Zayn puts a hand on my shoulder and I nod “This tour will go fast and before you know it Louis will be back with us” his reassurance is something I need right now. “Thanks, mate” he smiles, and nods going back to his seat and closes his eyes. Might as well take a nap as tomorrow is going to be hectic, not really taking too long before I fall asleep. 

"Louis no!" I am running towards him and his frail looking body he looks so lifeless and pale "Please wake up Lou" I look for his pulse and he's ice cold as I look around to see Zayn, Harry, Niall, Justin and Me... we are wearing suits and we are in a cemetery. "Zayn!" I walk over to him, but he doesn't hear me I turn to Niall "Niall!" I try and shake him "They don't see you" "who was-" I turn around and see Louis "Lou!" I run to him, but I run right through him "No, Li I'm not alive" I shake my head wiping the tears from my eyes "n-no you are at the clinic" I pull on my hair, keeping my eyes close. 

“Liam! Liam!” the room is shaking “Lou no don’t go” he just smiles and waves, blowing a kiss I wake up to everyone around me “There you are mate” Zayn says, exhaling I rub my head and look at Zayn “what happened?” he puts his hands in his pockets “You were screaming, crying and shouting No Lou!” it all starts to come back to me and I shake my head getting up “just a nightmare”.

 I plaster on a fake smile shaking my head “it’s nothing” as the guys pass by me leaving the jet but just as I grab my phone, slipping it in my pocket I feel a hand wrap around my wrist I turn and see Zayn giving me that “I’m here for you I know something’s up” look I just give him a little smile and nod “Thanks Z” he smiles back leaving the jet.

“Come on Liam nothings wrong Louis is getting the help I have to focus on the tour” running a hand through my hair as I leave the jet. Seeing Simon, Paul and the guys I walk over to them “so where are we headed first?” Simon turns to me, giving me a smile “We are headed home for the first few shows”I and the guys jump up in joy “Yes!” “I miss home!” “Finally!” I look at my mates and smile as they jump up and down and are smiling so big, out of the corner of my eye I see Simon smiling so big “So where are we going in the UK?” Simon shuffles some papers in his hands.

“Well let’s get in the car and I will tell you lads everything” we all nod and head to the car as we all get in the car Paul gets in the drivers and Simon sits in the passenger. “Okay, so we are going back to the hotel packing up our stuff and headed to the UK” we all nod and we each do our own thing.

*Zayn*

I am worried about the lads I don’t like how we must plaster on a smile in front of everyone especially now with Harry and Niall still getting better, but I am proud of how far they have come I put my arm around Niall and I hug him, I take him by surprise “What was that for mate?” he laughs hugging me back “I am just proud about how far you two have come?” that makes him and Harry smile “Thanks Z” Harry looks up from his phone I nod in return as he looks back down at his phone, grabbing Niall’s hand and lacing his fingers through his. They are so cute together I swear “You’re welcome lads”.

  I put my earphones in and close my eyes letting the music take me away. I can feel my phone go off, knowing it's Perrie and I don't want to deal with her now with so much going on and I get screamed at for not being there for her I have apologized for not being there and I wish I could but tour hasn't started yet and I have told her that the lads are going through a lot especially Louis. 

I feel someone shaking me and I wake up to see Niall the bags under his eyes and his messy hair, I take my earbuds out "We are back at the hotel" I nod and shove my phone in my back pocket and I'm swallowed into the paparazzi and fans screaming at us which honestly makes my headache worse. Simon pulls us all together as Paul shields us "Okay lads we are going to take the back way, grab your stuff and the car will be parked out there Paul will come with you just in case but hurry" we all nod and run into the back way as one girl grabs my hoodie I sigh and take it off, giving it to her and I run in the building "Are you okay Z?" Harry asks, trying to catch his breath I just nod "let's get our stuff" we all head into the elevator heading up to the 8th floor.

I take out the key and go into the room with the lads behind me as Paul comes in, locking the door "Okay lads we have fifteen minutes" we all nod and start to pack up "What's up Ni?" he looks up from the floor "I can't find my snapback" Haz comes out of the bathroom "which one?" Niall adjusts his hoodie "My black Lakers one" Haz nods as he helps him look. I finish fast and I go over to Liam "You okay Li?" He nods and continues to pack "I'm here for you man" He turns to smile at me and turns back.

"Thanks, Z, it's just a lot harder to deal with than I thought plus I really don't want to go back on a plane" I rotate my shoulders as I look at how awful Liam looks tired as hell "It's hard on all of us mate" I put my arm around him and give him a hug as he rests his head on me, exhaling Ii really do feel bad for him but we are all here for him plus we are headed home so that will be nice. 

 

"Thanks, Z, it's just a lot harder to deal with than I thought plus I really don't want to go back on a plane" I rotate my shoulders as I look at how awful Liam looks tired as hell "It's hard on all of us mate" I put my arm around him and give him a hug as he rests his head on me, exhaling I really do feel bad for him but we are all here for him plus we are headed home so that will be nice. 

*Liam*

I am so tired, and I’m just mentally and physically exhausted I really don’t think I can last for five months traveling and without my Lou. Remembering the look, he had on his face when we left him there his lost puppy look I just wanted to scoop him up and take him home. Yeah, he needs to get better my phone dings snapping me out of my daze and I look to see it’s Johannah I have never picked up a phone call so fast and I block everyone and everything out “Hey Jo” I walk over to the bed and I see the boys out of the corner of my eye they all turn towards me and I just look down at the carpet, listening to Jo’s voice “I am with Lou right now he wasn’t cooperating at first but he slowly started to calm down with the help of some workers "LET ME GO YOU FOOLS" I hear Lou screaming in the background and it just breaks my heart he sounds so scared, that it's torture having to listen to him like this. 

Simon comes back into the room motioning for us to hurry, I nod as I hold up one finger he nods as the other boys walk towards the door all of the boys with a worried look as I can read Simon's lips "what's going on?" I start motioning with my hands and as Simon's expression deepens and nods "Li..he's terrified he got into a fight with his nurse and won't let anyone touch him..we don't know what to do".

I'm trying to get him to calm down but he keeps saying "You're not Liam!!" he won't even let me touch him..my baby" I hear her voice starting to break but she tries to keep it together "Jo, what happened to him cooperating?" she sighs as I can hear Lo screaming "No! don't touch me! get away from me!" "Louis no!" she screams as she sighs "I don't know he was doing so well they want to put him on some meds and they tried taking his blood and he lost it" I nod, wanting nothing but to fly over there as fast as I can but I know I can't.

I run my hand through my hair as I see Harry come behind me as he pushes me to the door with one hand pulling my luggage and the other holding my phone, as we head out of the hotel Simon takes the keys "I'm going to check us out, Paul take them out back and get the car started I'll meet you guys there" Paul nods getting closer to us, motioning  for us to follow him.

I hear Jo trying to calm down Louis enough to talk to me "Lou! it's Liam talk to him boo" everything goes quiet and I can hear him trying to catch his breath and I hear his footsteps "L-Liam is that y-you?" my worry just disappears once I hear his sweet voice "Hey Boo can you take deep breaths for me?" as I am being pushed towards the exit by Niall and as we are almost to the car I get that look but I shake my head.

"Now just calmly talk to me Boo, they are there to help you" I say sweetly "No! you aren't here and I have trapped Li!" I exhale and try to think of ways to calm him down "Lou remember our first date?" and everything goes quiet until I get a "Yes" I smile "Remember how nervous I was?" he starts laughing "Yes you were a nervous wreck" I fill with relief I love hearing Lou's laugh it is the best and if there is any way I can get him to laugh I will.

  
I look around the lads have either passed out or have their earbuds in "No Lou our first show is in Birmingham I believe we'll be here for a few days" I chuckle "I love you too Lou, now we are almost at the airport"I grab my sunglasses "of course, I'll call you when we land" I get out of the car, pulling my suitcase "I love you too boo" I hang up and put my phone in my pocket "How's Lou?" Harry asks as he helps Niall out "He's just really freaked out and misses us" Zayn pipes in "Awh our Lou" as he grabs his luggage from the back.

I rub my eyes and I look down while I wait for Paul to get out of the car and I look at photos of us, I sniffle as I see the first picture of us I asked him out at this big huge party it was like our first big huge party as a group and  was really nervous but I wouldn't change a thing we both cried and hugged. Of course, when we became a couple we couldn't broadcast it so I have Danielle and Louis has Eleanor.

They are lovely girls but I don't love Dani and, we made a deal that neither of us falls for the other which is fair I told her about me being with Lou and she thought and I quote "the cutest thing ever" I appreciate it from her. getting a text from her "hope your tour goes well Li :)" I smile and thank her putting my phone in my jeans pocket as I try and get some rest, I hear bits and pieces of Simon's and Paul's conversation. "Much longer" "Justin" "Louis" and "We'll see" I want to open my eyes when he said Louis name but sleep consumed me. 

After about an hour and a half I feel someone shaking me and I open my eyes seeing Niall with his bedhead holding his luggage "C'mon mate we have to get on the plane" I just nod and grab my shit as I shut the car door following the rest of the lads into the plane I look and see Zayn talking with Harry as Niall hangs back "You okay Ni?" I ask and he kinda jumps he looks so tired poor lad "Y-yeah just exhausted" I nod and rub his back as we all get on the plane of course as soon as we sit down Simon starts talking but I pass out before hearing anything. 

*Harry* 

Yeah we are all exhausted but we've been on longer tours I know we can do it, me and Niall have gotten better, having a pill that silences the voices and Niall's been going to therapy along with meds but I can tell he wants to get better and that makes me happy knowing I have my Ni back. I pull him closer to me as he's really trying to stay awake holding a can of monster, I chuckle kissing his cheek "come on love I know you are tired just a little longer" he snaps awake and nods resting his head on my shoulder looking at Simon. "What about Liam?" Niall points over to Li who has past out sprawled across the couch fast asleep.

"Just let him sleep a little I'll wake him in a few" Niall nods knowing what he's been through "So boys since I know you guys have been put through so much I announced the tour being shortened to four months" we all thank him "what about Lou?" Zayn pipes in Simon puts his hands together "I was just on the phone with his doctor and he's cooperating now, knowing that he can do it" we cheer waking up Liam "w-what's going on?" Liam rubs his eyes " the tour was shortened to four months and Lou is cooperating now" I say and I see a big smile form on his face "My Lou..". 

"Oh Liam I forgot to add Dani is meeting us there" Simon says getting up and Liam just nods the frown returning I know it hurts me and Niall aren't seen out in public together. Simon goes to the back of the plane leaving us "I know it's hard Li but once everything settles down we can announce it but Louis is everywhere now" Zayn tackles me putting his hand over my mouth "dude shut up he wasn't supposed to know" he shoots a glare at me fuck...

Liam shoots out of his seat looking for his phone "what the hell!" Li screams as he sees the ridiculous articles about him "Louis cheating?" "Is Louis leaving one direction?" "Louis skin in bones" "okay what in the actual hell is this shit now when Li's pissed he cusses but never like this we are all stunned "calm down Li Simon is trying to get them taken down"Zayn says grabbing a water out of the fridge.

"No I can't" he falls on his knees, curling up in a ball finally letting it all out tears stream down his face. I get on my knees and try to comfort him as Ni gets on the other side hugging him "It's okay Li those articles are bull and you know it our fans will know its fake, those writers try to get to you, you can't let them win" Li nods wiping his tears on his sleeve and Zayn runs over holding Li's hand "Yes,I agree with Haz the articles are bull" Liam finally calms down and I get him a blanket "we have four hours until we get there to get some rest Li" he just nods and closes his eyes. 

"Nice job Haz" Zayn pats my back as he grabs a blanket and shortly passes out. I smile as Niall just looks at me and I know he wants to cuddle so I grab another blanket and we both cuddle, falling asleep pretty quick. 

*Louis* 

Hell.....

That's a good word to describe this place but I've met some really nice patients here plus my mum's and sisters have been here daily helping in any way they can overprotective especially Lottie she's clung onto me till visiting hours were over.

Now I'm waiting to get weighed we have to get weighed twice a week everyone does I hate it I don't want to see the numbers on that thing. Not like it's a choice I've been here for a few weeks and it just gets worse and worse all these people and the only one I want to talk to is busy the phone calls have been fewer and fewer I'm not really complaining I know they are busy I mean I get a few texts here and there from the other lads which are nice I know that tour must be hard on them the last time I saw them they all looked tired and just dead.

Trust me I've tried breaking out of here and begging these people to release me but no not even noticing that it's my turn until the lady yells my name "Louis!" I quickly snap out of it and step on the scale those stupid numbers are burned into my brain "157" the nurse says as she writes it down in my chart I hate this place the nurse gets up out of her chair and puts her hands under my chin...I gained another 4 pounds...

_No_

 "You need to get more sleep and the other nurses have been telling me you aren't eating again" I push her hand away and walk out of the room with my head down I bump into someone and I look up to see my doctor "Oh hello Louis just the person I was looking for" he looks through his clipboard "The nurses have been telling me you won't take your meds" I clench my fists so hard my knuckles turn white I raise my head and glare at him "Not like you give a fuck" I walk past him to my room and shut the door, throwing myself on my bed trying to blocking out the thoughts "I miss you Li" I whisper as I hug my pillow. I ignore the people shaking me and trying to get me to face them instead I slowly drift off to sleep. 

 

*three months later* 

*Louis*

I need to get out of here I think to myself as I sit in the lounge area pulling my knees to my chest I ignore just about everyone here and my family I just can't cope with all this I want my mates back the past two months past I only talk to My mates when they call and they call every chance they get and Justin called last night so I caught him up at everything that has been happening. 

"Oh my god Lou I had no idea tour has been a nightmare" I hear the tiredness in his voice "It really is okay just please take care of yourself I don't want you passing out again" I twirl the phone cord around my finger "I will Lou and when tours end we shall hang out again" I smile at the thought of that "Thank you Jay" I look down "So how has Ni and Haz been?" I exhale "I've only talked to them a few times since I've been in this hell hole but Ni told me that Haz is acting strange again I am really worried considering I can't do anything" I run my hand through my hair and rest my elbow on the front desk, hoping that they've been taking care of themselves I quickly snap out of it.

"Well, my 20 minutes are almost up Jay" I hold the bridge of my nose "Oh okay Lou I talked to my management and kept begging for me to see you guys maybe I could visit you?" I just here "visit me" and I get ecstatic  "yes yes yes!" I say feeling everyone stop what they are doing and look at me but at this point, I don't give a damn. we hang up and I look around at the blank expression patients and the robotic acting nurses "Louis" I jump and see Taylor a girl that is one of the only people I talk to she was shy and timid at first but after a few weeks we started talking, she's become a close friend of mine she looks me up and down "Lou..you haven't been eating again" I roll my eyes I'm sick of hearing that I know I haven't "I know" I try to keep my cool.

I don't feel like being detained again plus Liam and the boys get told about my behavior daily so much for being the oldest of the group "Louis!" I snap out of my thoughts to see Taylor waving her arms around "Oh sorry lost in thought what were you saying?" she sighs "classes have been canceled today" I smile those classes suck but if you don't go there's even less of a chance to get out of this place. 

"So it's a free day basically?" she nods "want to sit outside?" I nod and we walk towards to garden they have there for patients to go to but of course its gated we laugh and talk as we arrive there and just sit on the grass when Taylor found out who I was she cried, she kept saying how I was her idol it made me happy but also for her and me to meet like this is not something to be expected at first I tried to tell as little as possible cause I didn't want her to know everything then but we started to talk and she has been so nice and helpful. "So how's Li?" she asks crossing her legs and looking at me I smile at the mention of my boy "I miss him like crazy".

I pick at the grass and look back up at her as she shows me her sad smile so she comes over and hugs me within about a minute I'm bawling my eyes out I miss my boy I miss my mates and I miss my family she tells me to let it all out so for about 45 minutes that's exactly what I do. I finally pull back wiping my now red eyes "Oh Lou" she rubs my shoulder.

"You have to start eating and you can get released then you can get back home I thought about that and I got up "Uh I gotta do something I'll see you at lunch Tay" she raises an eyebrow but nods slowly, I don't wait for her response as I run back to my room "c'mon c'mon" I dodge the nurses and other patients I see my room in my sight but my doctor blocking the door I try to get through but he blocks it and looks at me I try to think of what I did recently to get him mad at me once again.

"Okay, doc I actually haven't done anything for you to be mad at me this time" I cross my arms he just sighs and squeezes the bridge of his nose "Louis the nurses have told me you haven't been eating and if you don't start you will be staying here longer. I almost scream but I put my hand on my mouth, I look down at the floor and count to ten in my head after I manage to calm down I look back up at him he looks impressed "wow Louis you calmed yourself down" I cross my arms "Doc don't test me, I know I haven't been eating but right now I have something more important than that I slip under his arm. 

I run to my bed and grab my notebook they gave me the doctor just watches me stunned, "Louis what are you doing" I sigh "I'm writing" he crosses his arms "be on time for lunch Louis" I wait till his back is to me to me to stick my tongue out at him.  

_Can't stand that guy..._

 

About twenty minutes later I have written two pages front and back to the boys, I fold the letter up and bring it to my chest. I get up and go to the slot for the mail they have in the lounge room it's kind of quiet and that is scary as I turn around I see Nolan my doctor kind of looks like Niall in that sense but I'd rather see Ni "Louis you decided to join us" I roll my eyes and go get some food, I look down at my tray now don't get me wrong it's not awful food but it being food from here makes me not want to eat it. I sigh and sit down at the tables in the lunch area. I twirl my soup with my spoon I wondering what the boys are doing I smile at the antics they are probably doing behind Li's back I chuckle at the thought "Oh so you can laugh" I snap out of my thoughts to see my doctor looking at me with his arms crossed. 

_I swear this guy is following me..._

I swallow the sandwich I was eating as he just sits in front of me  I look back down at my food "Louis I want you to get out of here too" I snap my head up at that I've been here almost four months and its torture "You do??" I look at him with a confused look and he nods "well certainly I am not evil" I sigh and rest my chin on my hand listening to him as he sits down across from me he writes some things down on his clipboard "Louis I want you to get out of here I am not keeping you here because I'm cruel, I have been keeping up with your friends to tell them your progress" my jaw drops at that "You've been talking to my mates and I can barely get them to talk to me".

I push the tray away and cross my arms "Louis it's not like that at all they did tell me tour did start off pretty hectic without you there and that when they got done with a show they passed out" I exhale and look down at my hands I miss his in mine. 

I exhale "I want to get better" and his eyes go wide and he smiles "I am so glad to hear that now why don't we go to my office and talk some more?" I nod and put my dirty dishes in the tray as I follow him down the long hallway I can't get my mates and my man out of my head 

_I wonder how they are doing..._

 

I sit down in the seemingly uncomfortable chair as he sits in his chair, shuffling some papers around until he finds something and writes a few things on it. Finally after what seemed like forever he looks up at me and puts his hands together "So Louis I see you have become friends with a fellow patient here?" he looks down and back up I just nod "Y-yeah Taylor" he nods and writes more stuff down "Well I see here that you haven't been very cooperative with us. I sigh and cross my arms "I know how I've been acting, my head's been spinning with thoughts I miss my mates and my boyfriend. I say gasping for air he nods "Well if you cooperate you can be out of here Louis" I put my head in my hands. I start dozing off thinking of my babe and mates

 

*Liam* 

The rush...that is the best part sweating and dancing around the stage, I smile as  Harry struts upstage goofing off as sings "You're all I think about baby!" Zayn joins in after Haz finishes up, Z slings his arm around Harry's neck the crowd goes wild as the night ends I say into my mic "Thank you New York!" the crowd loses it waving and smiling. I run off stage as the crew takes my mic off and hands me a bottle of water "Your dressing room is down the hall Harry" I nod and smile heading that way. I look next to me seeing what I thought was Louis laughing, sweating and singing he looks up and smiles at me- "Liam!" I blink and see Niall standing in the doorway looking at me with a raised eyebrow "are you okay mate?" I nod but he looks at me again "We know you aren't mate" I sigh and nod "'I know I know I love touring and all I just" Niall rubs my back "He'll be okay" I smile and nod as we enter the back room I look around and see Zayn sprawled out on the couch, Harry underneath Zayn's legs on his phone laughing at something Z said and Simon is telling Lou. 

"Oh, there he is" Simon looks at me "yeah sorry I just had to make a call" they all nod I sit in a chair next to Niall who it playing with Harry's hair. It's nice to see they are getting along well sure they have some fights but it's been a lot better since they were admitted. "That was a great show!" Niall says as Harry intertwines his fingers with his I smile at that but I wish that that was me and Louis. I shake my head and look at Simon "so where's the next show at?"   Simon clears his throat and looks at his phone well we are heading to Canada. I hear cheers and laughter but I am just numb more shows with my Louis... 

_Just smile and fake it..._

 

I exhale and stretch, I look around and they are laughing and messing around almost like they don't miss Lou, "Just great" I get up and leave the arena sitting on the back stairs. I run my hands through my hair looking up at the sky as the sun starts to set I hear the back door close but I'm too distracted until I feel a hand on my shoulder. 

"Holy shi-" I close my mouth when I see Paul he shows me his smile as he sits down by me on the step after what seems like forever Paul finally speaks " They miss him too" I turn to him and he just nods "they want to be strong for you Li" I smile and as I can feel a tear come down "I know you guys are exhausted, this has been a long tour and being without Louis but you guys are so strong and you guys will make it through this, you have made it this far not just me or Simon but the fans too are about to hit the road so get ready" he says nothing after that just shows me one of his famous smiles as he gets up and heads back in the building.

I wipe my face and two minutes later head back into the building, seeing the mates their smiles vanished as soon as I walked in. I don't try to make conversation and you could cut the silence with a knife "Alright boys lets head to the bus" Simon says as the others head to the bus not one looked at me or said anything I sigh and brush it off slowly following them to the bus and as soon as I got on everyone went straight to bed there were no pillow fights, laughing, no movies that ended up in popcorn fights. I smile sadly remembering all of those memories and just head to bed totally exhausted. 

 

_I miss you, Louis..._

 

*Zayn* 

We had all this planned out the tour was soon ending after the three weeks at Canada everyone knows but what Li doesn't know is that we are coming back to the US without Liam asking any questions and the hospital has been calling us it's been difficult to get everyone but Liam to answer, telling us how Lou has slowly been recovering how he was eating again. that if he continues he will be released real soon we knew not telling Liam all this would hurt him but we had a big surprise on our last show back home. I smile sending the last text to my sister and I turn my phone off and fall asleep shortly after. 

* 8 am* 

I hear a loud noise and yelling and some banging 

_oh boy_

"son of a-" I look at my phone reading 8:12 am " I slowly get up and go out seeing Harry and Niall laughing to the point of crying Niall is laying on the floor holding his stomach "Lads!" I scream as they both stop and turn to look at me "Oh um morning Z" Haz says quietly "I sigh and smile back "what are you two doing up this early it's our day off" I rub the back of my neck with my hand "Haz was tickling me and that woke me up" Ni says regaining his breathing "But I'm sorry we woke you Z" I smile "It's fine I just hope Li didn't wake up" Ni gets up and creeps into his room seeing him dead asleep then came back smiling "still asleep" I smile "'Good, so everything is set up right guys" I finish pouring orange juice and they both nod "Sure is, I talked to Louis's doctor and he says that he's doing so much better" I smile so big it hurts "That's amazing, I talked to Simon yesterday and he said everything was good now we just have to wait a few weeks?" 

 

*Louis* 

Happiness...

that's a word I would describe how I actually feel and no I'm not lying this time, it's so weird. I stretch as the sun hits my face "Hey Lou" I look over and see Taylor I smile wide "Tay!" I run and hug her "I missed you" I hugged her tighter "I missed you too" I release her as she is regaining her breathe, putting her hand on my shoulder "I got out early I did want to tell you but I wanted you to focus on your health and your doctor told me how good you're doing I'm so happy for you!" I smile.

We end up talking and laughing for the next two hours until she has to leave "We'll keep in touch right?" I stand at the elevator she turns around "Of course we will" she smiles and I wave at her until she drives off and turns the corner. I turn around and my doctor is standing there "Oh hello" he smiles and waves me to follow him and we both walk to his office "So I see you are in a brighter mood lately" I nod "Well could you explain" I nod "Well Jay has been calling me and that's been nice" he writes that down "Who's Jay?" "Justin Bieber" his eyes go wide "I see, my daughter loves him" he chuckles as he looks back up at me.

"I miss my mates and my man I should be on tour I miss tour" I sigh "I miss my family and my sisters" he nods "The nurses say you've been gaining weight and that's great" I nod looking down at my stomach and the urge to throw up is not in my head like something else is there and a picture of my mates come into my head the little things: Zayn's jokes, Niall's laugh, Harry's dancing, and Liam's rules. 

The doctor's fingers snap me back to reality "'Y- Yeah?" I look at him "Louis I am very happy on the improvement you've made" I smile and nod "Thank you I just know what I have to do, I found what I need to do" the doctor folds his hands together and looks closely at me "Well what might that be exactly?' I look at him "my fans they don't even know where I am. I look down and shake my head "Louis you've just learned it" I look up "I don't understand?".

He smiles and removes his glasses "When you came in here you were distant, scared and I can't blame you at all away from your friends and family in some strange place with people but you finally have seen why you are here Louis we aren't here to hurt but to help. Your friends had told me that Harry and Niall were taken to the hospital?".

My breath catches in my throat I just nod and look down "But they got better correct?" I slowly look up and nod "What I'm trying to say Louis is they got the help they need and I assume they are themselves?" I nod smiling "yes they are" he puts his glasses back on rolling up the sleeves of his button-up shirt "Then you deserve the same happiness as your friends Louis, there's nothing wrong reaching out for help" He smiles big. yeah okay maybe I thought he was a bit of an ass before but now he's really helped a lot "Well I believe that is everything I think the nurses need to weigh you" I sigh but reluctantly get up smiling, "oh course" I leave and shake his hand walking down the long hallway and I small nurse with long brown hair calls my name I look over and she smiles "Oh yeah" I walk with her with what seems like forever until we reach another little white room. 

"let's get you weighed" she writes something down but I can't make it out just to get it over I step on the scale without closing my eyes until the numbers show up, staring back at me reads 141... for once I don't feel sick to my stomach I'm not sure if it's the group meetings, my doctor down my throat or just me... I smile and get down looking back at the nurse as she puts her hand on my shoulder "I really am proud of you Lou" I smile wider "Thank you" I have been getting that a lot lately and it's nice to hear. I head back to my room and lay down looking up at the ceiling I start to hum a song the lads and I were working on before I left "don't forget where you belong... Lights off when they should be on  
Even stars and skies above" I smile as I slowly drift off to sleep. 

 

*Liam* 

Everyone's been so touchy around me like I know I haven't been the greatest but no need to walk on eggshells around me I roll my eyes, tying my plaid shirt around my waist "ugh where is it" I go out to see everyone eating and it's very quiet a little too quiet "Lads?" they turn and smile widely "Morning Li" they all say and I smile "Morning lads, have you see my high tops?" Zayn sets down his empty glass "the red and black ones?" I nod "oh I saw one in the bathroom the others laugh as I go and find it "great now to find the other one" I search around the bus after about twenty minutes I still can't find it "Lads" they turn to look at me "I still can't find it" Haz puts his finger to his chin and scrunches his nose "Oh try the hamper" I turn and the other two breaks out laughing.

I shake my head and go check, finally finding it "Okay I'm not even going to ask how it got there" I say as I try to put the other one on, "Oh who knows once tour gets toward the middle/end we all just throw things everywhere" Niall speaks up "We usually are on a time crunch and need to bolt so I'm guessing that's how things get like this" he gestures to the clothes, shoes and anything else. "You know Simon will be on us if he ever sees this like we need more added stress" Niall adds as he puts a piece of cut-up pancake in his mouth. 

"We really should clean this today lads" I start picking up a few things but Zayn throws them down "We don't have time man we have a photo shoot in like ten minutes" he passes me putting his glass in the sink. I panic "what why didn't you lads wake me earlier??" Harry and Niall get up, putting their dishes in the sink " Li we know you don't get sleep anymore plus we told Simon about it and we are meeting him there" Harry says as he stretches out on the couch while that is sweet of them I really don't like being late to these sort of things and the lads know it "and before you say you know I don't like being late for these things you know that part we do but your health is more important" Zayn chimes in as he puts his leather coat on, slinging his arm over Harry's smiling wide "You can do this Li" I smile.

"Thanks, lads". 

The bus stops "well it looks like we are here" Niall turns around in his seat my nerves tense up yeah we haven't done a photo shoot since the before the tour started which feels like forever ago. I step down and there's Simon waiting for us Niall quickly closes the bus door and whispers to me "best if he doesn't see it mate" and I can't help but laugh as he runs up to Harry. "Oh Liam" I look up to see Simon smiling at me and he hasn't smiled in a while

"Yes" I speed walk up to him "the Lads have been telling me how hard it's been and if you don't want to do the photo shoot I won't make you" I shake my head.

"Oh no it's fine I want to do it" he nods back and walks into the tall fancy looking building as we all enter the building a really petite woman with short blonde hair comes up to us "One Direction so glad to have you here" she smiles and puts her hands together I just muster a smile "I'll show you to the room" she walks and her heels click on the marble floor after two flights of stairs and many hallways she stops "And here we are" she opens the door and we walk in "whoa" Ni says fixing his white tank top  this huge room with big wide windows on the opposite wall and pictures of a few famous artists.

"This is awesome" Harry speaks up as he rolls up his sleeves on his denim jacket "I wonder who's going to be the photographer" Z says and a tall, petite woman with brown long hair tied up in a messy bun and a bright smile "Hello lads sorry I'm late let's get started shall we?" she smiles and grabs her camera off the table "Now, Niall, you stand there, Zayn lean up against him then Harry put your hands in your front pockets like that then finally Liam rest your hand on Harry's back".  "Great!" now Niall stand in the front with your hands in the loops of your jeans and Harry follow suit now Zayn and Liam on the sides of them- I tune out most of that shoot just wanting it to be over after what seemed like two hours we finished "great lads!" she claps

"wait where are these photos going exactly?" Haz asks taking off his bandanna " these are just going up for your last few shows" she smiles as she sets her camera down. I just nod "Hello lads" Simon walks in taking his sunglasses off "Ready to go get checked in?" we all nod, thanking her as we follow him back to our bus "Let's just go in your lads" Simon puts his hand on the handle but Niall runs in front of him "Oh Simon that might not be a good idea" he looks over at us with his help me look and of course we jump in "Yeah it's a little cramped in there at the moment" Zayn says leaning against the door and as I would normally tell Simon the truth I help in the chaos.

"Yeah Simon we wouldn't want to put you through that" he looks at all of us "If you insist I'll just give your driver the address" he looks at us oddly as he writes it down and walks away. I exhale "glad he believed us" they nod and we all pile in the huge bus "that was long" Niall speaks up after like twenty minutes of silence as he strums his guitar we all simultaneously agree "Yeah usually photo shoots are fun and short" Zayn says sitting on the couch "It's Louis.." I mumble they all turn to me "what mate?" Haz asks turning his body towards me.

I sigh setting down my glass "It's Louis guys he is what we are missing!" I say trying to hold in my tears great job Liam so much for being strong in the midst of me battling my own thoughts I feel arms wrap around me and I turn to see all of the lads hugging me which makes me break down in tears "I know it's hard Li but he will come home he isn't staying there forever" Harry says in a soothing voice which does help when I can't be the calm "fatherly" figure it has always been Haz. I smile weakly at his kind words "I-I know it just hurts that he isn't here" I look down watching my tears hitting the floor "I know mate but you can get through this and I am sure Lou misses you too, we all miss him as well things aren't the same without him" I nod trying to get the tears to stop but they just won't I have held my emotions in for too long.

"I-I just need to be alone" I get up to push them away softy and I go into my room, locking the door only to fall on the floor bawling my eyes out once again I really try not to cry during the tour. 

"I need him here...I can't do this anymore" I feel my body shaking as I try to calm my breathing. 

 

*Harry* 

"I- I just need to be alone" Liam's flat tone spreads through the bus as he pushes all of us away and goes into his room when you hear the door locking. I look over to the other two as I motion for them to follow we stop right outside his door just enough to hear 

"I need him here...I can't do this anymore" my heart breaks Liam has always been the one to keep his emotions locked up, always smiling and laughing. I turn to the others and they nod. We all sit on the couch to start talking about the plan after about three hours we know Liam is asleep so we call Simon to set up the last few things. 

"Hello, Harry" Simon picks up and I whisper "Hello yes I um had a few questions" I turn to look at the others "and those would be?" I think how to word them correctly " You see Louis is getting released early and we would like to surprise Liam on our last show like have Louis come out on his part in like the last song" there's a silence, "I think we can arrange that, have you talked to the hospital?" I put my hand in my back pocket "Yes we can distract Liam to get Lou set up and surprise him" I hear a slight mhm noise "well this can be arranged then so your last show is tomorrow so are you guys going to drop Liam off make up something go and get Louis then book him a different hotel room?" I agree "yeah we were going to tell him that Liam is sick and can't make the show" I know Simon doesn't like lying but it's for a good cause "Well if it is for Liam and Louis I suppose" I take a deep breath. 

The weight from my shoulders has finally been lifted "Thank you so much Simon" we say our goodbyes and I hang up, turning to them "we got the okay" they jump up and down "so here's what we will do" we talk out everything until we get to the hotel. "So Ni you stay here and try to distract him" he nods and gets off the bus with his bags "I'll check him in" Zayn says and he follows Niall now to just get Liam I walk over to his door and knock "Liam we are at the hotel" I knock and no answer "Come on Li we are on a tight schedule" after about five minutes I hear the door unlock and I enter seeing him sitting on his bed with his face stuffed in a pillow my heart sinks at that so I go over and sit by him, slowly lifting the pillow to see his red puffy eyes "oh Li..." I hug him.

"You need to get some rest and we are at the hotel" he just nods grabbing his suitcase and slipping on his high tops, putting his hood on I just grab his hand and Paul is there "the paparazzi are out there let's hurry" we both nod since we didn't have any other options first Paul steps down then Liam with his head down as I follow him blocking his right side while Paul holds back the fans on his left.

 "Liam!" "Liam!" I tried whispering things to calm him down as I could see the yelling was stressing him out. "Liam you don't look yourself what do you have to say?" the reporter tries sticking the camera near him but he dodged him all while looking down at the ground. 

"Where's Louis!?" "Is it true you guys are splitting up!?" " Is it true that Liam broke up with Dani?!" I just rub Liam's back as I can feel his body get tense with all of the stupid questions and the bright flashes not helping I whisper in his ear "They aren't worth it and we are almost there" he nods fixing his hoodie. 

Paul opens the door and we hurry in "No paparazzi!" the manager comes out and they quickly disperse "room for Payne" I speak up and she nods handing me a key I hand it to him "Li Paul is going to take you to your room please rest for our last show" he nods but finally looks up with his puffy red eyes he wraps his arms around me leaning on me "Thank you Haz" he mumbles and I can tell he didn't sleep much last night. 

I rub his back "no problem mate" he half smiles turning around walking as Paul follows but turns around to mouth "be out in five" I nod, running back to the bus before they come back "Hey Haz" I turn around locking the bus door to see Zayn looking away from his phone "Oh hey Z Paul will be back shortly-" suddenly the bus starts and I see Paul looking in the rear view mirror "By the time Liam laid down he was out" he chuckles "so off to pick up Louis?" "Yes!" we both say like little boys. I sit on the couch and so does Zayn we end up talking about all we want to do when we see Louis not realizing we had been talking for four hours "We are here!" Paul says parking the bus we jolt up running  to the door and end up falling down on the ground "Oof" I brush myself off "ready to get our Lou?" I look over and Z he just nods quickly. 

We walk up to the desk and I think the lady almost passes out "Omg its!-" we shush her and she quiets down I whisper "We are here to pick up Louis Tomlinson love" I wink  and she gets all flustered looking through her papers "o-oh yes he's on the fourth floor" she tries to stay calm but I can tell she is struggling so I grab a sharpie and a scrap piece of paper off her desk and I sign it, handing it over to Zayn and he does the same handing it back to me and I set it on her desk which she tries to remain calm "o-oh my thank you!" she smiles wide and we both nod back walking down the hallway to the elevator "That was nice of you Haz" Zayn leans over to me I just smile and put my hands behind my back rocking back on my heels "well I try" the elevator opens and we both step in pressing the four. 

After three minutes the doors open and we step out "He should be around here some-" "Haz!" "Z" we turn and see a teary-eyed Louis, running at full speed down this long hallway resulting in him crashing into us "Oof" we both end up on the floor with him on top of us "I missed you both so much" he is mumbling but I heard miss and us so I smile "We missed you too Lou" we hug for what feels like forever until Louis gets up and we both are amazed he looks great he looks healthy and happy which is what we all wanted. "I am so happy you are okay Lou" Zayn says trying not to cry "Well I see Louis found you two" I look over and see what I assume is Lou's doctor "Yes and thank you for everything you have done" I say as I feel the tears coming "Oh no need to thank us Harry" he says setting down his clipboard "and I am really proud of Louis" I see him smile "Thank you for everything" Lou says. 

We wave goodbye and I take Lou's bags and I wrap one of his hoodies around him "Here Lou put this on Paul texted me and there's paparazzi out there" he nods and slips it on, putting his hood on. As we step off the elevator we can see glimpse's of paparazzi trying to get in but there is workers holding the doors shut "shit shit shit" Zayn says putting his arm behind Louis pushing him towards the back entrance "Okay Lou stand in between me and Z the bus is right out there" he nods and gets in between us "1 2 3" I open the door and there's no one so we run and get to the bus, painting and out of breath we close the bus door and hear "hey lads" "Paul!" Lou yells running over to him and hugging him. 

"I'm so glad to see you happy Lou" he says as he rubs his back "now time to get back to the hotel" he adds starting up the bus and getting back on the road "wait where is Ni and Li" his eyes sparkle when he says Liam's nickname. "He is at the studio" I say with a straight face hopefully he believes me I really hate lying to him but I know he will be surprised and happy which is what we all want after what he has been through these past four months and not being on tour hurt him he really knows how to pick us all up when we are feeling tired and emotionally drained from tour. "Oh well I really can't wait to see him" he smiles wide "And he can't wait to see you Lou" I rub his back as he talks about how his experience was at the hospital was after about two hours Louis passes out with his head on my lap "Poor Lou" Z rubs his shoulder "Yeah but he's home now" I smile looking down at him. 

Me and Zayn end up just talking for the remaining two hours since me and him haven't been as close as we used to which makes me upset "I really do miss our friendship we had we used to be so close and we really aren't any more" he exhales and looks up at me his brown eyes look clouded and not as bright as they always are "Me too mate I mean we have been through so much these past almost two years and I am happy you are better but things have just been hectic lately and when everything settles back down things will go back to normal" he half smiles "Hopefully it will" "We are here" Paul says parking the bus "I really hate to wake Lou".

I lightly try to wake him while Zayn grabs his bags and Paul comes back "Let's hurry before the fans see you guys" me and Zayn nod "Lou wake up we are here" he finally awakens with his bed head he looks adorable and totally out of it but there's no time to fix it "Put your hood on Lou" Louis gets up quickly trying to fix his disheveled look "Let's go" Louis speaks up as we step down the stairs and quickly enter the hotel "A room for Tomlinson" she nods and hands me the key which I give it to Lou "Here Lou" I hand him his key and he nods smiling, just looking at him he looks..alive which brings a smile to my face "would you like to get some rest or get something to eat-"

I start to stop but he nods "going out sounds great" he smiles, holding on to his suitcase I nod and smile "Well let's go put your stuff away when you decide" he nods and I follow him till he gets to his room with me and Zayn on his tail. "I really missed you Lou" after it being quiet for ten minutes I hear mumbled words as Lou was putting his stuff away but he quickly looked up to Zayn "what Z?" he looks down breathing out before repeating again "I really missed you Lou" and Louis starts the waterworks running over to him almost toppling him over and latching onto him "Oh Zaynie!" he says into his chest "I missed you to Z". 

After we all got back onto the bus Zayn is laughing and Louis is pointing laughing just as hard "No!" he squeals I looked at them starting to vision Liam sitting there trying not to laugh shaking his head and Niall laughing as well. Now this is a family and I would not trade them for anything finally I feel someone tapping my shoulder I blink and see Lou wiping the tears from his eyes "There's a Noodle restaurant a few blocks away why don't we head there?" We both nod and tell Paul where. After we all walk into the restaurant no one notices us yet so we all go up and order still not being noticed which I'm not complaining we all sit down, eating and just catching up which I smile as I take a sip of water. 

 

*Louis* 

It's nice hanging out with my mates again and doing the things we used to yes I miss Liam and Niall but I know they like to practice, hopefully, they are resting. The lads told me they were staying at a different hotel across town. "So are you ready for the last show?" I look up to see Haz with a long noodle hanging from his mouth and I try not to bust out laughing but it doesn't work and I start laughing so hard it hurts not caring if people looked it felt good to laugh again  and Zayn ends up pointing at poor Harry who's turned red as he quickly eats it "so funny lads" he rolls his eyes but is smiling after we all calm down I turn to answer Zayn "Yeah I am I have missed performing I can't wait" awhile later we quickly finish and leave getting back on the bus. 

"I hope the other lads are okay I miss them" I sigh, frowning as I look at the bus carpet "Actually Ni just finished he texted me that he is at the studio resting" I jolt up and start to dance around the bus like a little kid other than Liam I have gotten really close to the blonde Irishman I bounce up and down looking at the two "Can we go see him? Please Please Pleeeease" I pleaded until they have finally agreed to see him. "Yes!" Niall's like a brother to me which is cool considering I have four sisters "Calm down Ni" Z chuckles looking up from his phone as he twirls his foot. I try and calm my nerves but I hear a phone go off and it's Zayn's he looks up from his phone "Sorry Lou they got caught in some more work we'll meet them later" he rubs my shoulder but I just nod I miss my other to mates and I feel like I haven't seen them in forever I feel so close yet so far from them I hold in my anger that just wants to explode everywhere "You okay Lou?" Harry sits by me holding his cup of tea I just muster a smile and nod "Just miss them is all" and they both agree. 

"It's okay Lou they texted me and they are just going to stay at their hotel and we will get another one with that being the case we will just meet them at the show for practice" he looks back at me with those sad puppy eyes and I just nod "O-okay" I get up and head to my bunk without saying anything I know they are trying to help me but I just want it to be all of us we are brothers and it feels weird that we have been apart for so long but I can't wait to see Li's face when he sees me that will just make everything better. These thoughts make me smile as I quickly pass out the moment my head hits the pillow. 

 

*Liam*

Niall has been trying to calm me down for the past half hour I really want to see him I am squeezing a pillow, sitting on the floor with my back leaning up against the wall and Ni is next to me rubbing my shoulder I see his mouth moving but I don't hear anything it's almost like I blocked out all noise and I feel like I'm floating "Li you look really out of it" I turn to just see worry painted all over his face but I don't hear any words it is most likely something to do with that he is worried about me or something he is a big worrier as well "Liam!" I finally snap out of my trance and look at him "What Niall" he kinda inches back "I know you are upset but it's going to be okay I swear-" suddenly our hotel door opens and it's my sister Ruth "Sis what ar-" I can't finish my sentence before she picks me up and hugs me like constricting my air flow but I know she was worried about me I haven't really talked to my family much since tour started and of course Ruth is the first to find me. When she finally lets me go she is almost in tears.

"We were so worried about you Liam" she talks quietly cause I know she is about to burst into tears "Oh no no Ruth I'm okay I swear, I am sorry I didn't call much just a lot has happened and it's finally settling down but I promise I will call more" I end up smiling at her me and her end up talking for a few hours before she heads back home. 

I get into bed when I hear a faint sorry I turn and see Ni sitting on his bed look down I shake my head, get up and jump on him hugging him until he is laughing hysterically "There's Ni" I say through laughs "Don't apologize for anything mate I have been a basket case recently and I apologize for my actions" he smiles wiping his tears with the sleeve of his shirt. I get up and pat his head "no more tears Ni" he nods and we both go to bed. 

 

* 7:15 am* 

"I love you too Li-" I hear a loud beeping and I end up falling off the bed "what the hell Ni" I rub my head and look up to see him trying to hold in his laughter but he fails and starts laughing "Oh my god Li you klutz but where you dreaming of Lou again?"  I avoid answering it and after he laughs at me for a good two minutes he helps me up. "Jeez thanks Ni" I smile and roll my eyes "But seriously why the hell did you set your alarm for 7 in the morning" I look at his disheveled plaid sleep pants and long black shirt with his bed head yes I'll admit he is a cutie-No Liam don't he is your friend I snap myself out of it and I feel something hit my face and I look at Ni he had thrown a pillow and was chuckling and smiling so wide I just end up laughing "C'mon mate we have to get ready for a few photos" I look up at him "Wait Lou is going to be there right??" I see him smile with a worried look "No mate Simon has him practicing some vocals but they'll get his picture later I just nod I am upset but I know I will get to see him soon.

I get up and stretch feeling my back crack "So it's just us?" Ni shakes his head "No, Haz and Z will be there" I smile weakly walking to the hotel bathroom "You gonna take a shower?" he nods "I'll take one after you we just have to be there by 8:45" I look at the clock on the wall and it reads 7:39" I nod and close the door looking in the bathroom mirror and the bright lights shining off the shiny marble floor. I just feel nervous about seeing Lou after what seems forever but the boys have told me that I will see him soon and that he looks so much happier and better than before. I don't know if I will ever be able to get that image of that small sickly looking pale boy that I once saw almost five months ago I should be happy that I get to see my Lou bear after so long but I'm nervous it almost feels like when we first starting dating and I was so nervous but I finally got up the nerve to ask him out. 

*Flashback* 

*April 2012*

My hands are sweating and I am looking down at my red converse I can feel my voice shake but I look up and these guys aren't so bad in fact I am going to do it, Louis, one of my bandmates he was dancing around holding a red cup. The music was so loud but it was great our past first few concerts have been great and memorable the other lads have been helping me for the past few days try to get the courage to ask out Louis I know we are kind of young but I don't care I am going to ask him tonight. I stand up straight wipe my hands on my jeans and I walk over to Lou dancing as he laughs but I walk a little closer and he looks up stopping holding his chest "Oh Li! you scared me".

_Li... that's how it was started_

 

 "Sorry Lou!" the music is so loud I can barely hear him "Can we talk outside?" I try to yell over the loud beat I think he hears me cause he smiles wide and nods as he turns on his heels and heads to the door that leads to this big pool and patio deck, I am finally able to hear myself and I hear my heartbeat racing god I hope he doesn't hear me. He just smiles and giggles "Calm down Li, it's just me" 

_That's exactly why I am freaking out cause it's you..._

I smile and put my hands in my pockets and rock back and forth on my heels I can feel my voice starts to crack so I clear my throat "Lou, there is something I wanted to ask you" he nods and smiles running his hand through his hair "I'm listening to you Li" I nod and bite my lip "W-will you go out w-with me?" I can feel my face flushing, he smiles "What was that last part Li I didn't catch it" I look up and feel my face get redder "Oh Li you are blushing" I touch my hand to my cheek and immediately feel the warmth "Oh" I say quietly. I look up and clear my throat again "Lou close your eyes" he raises an eyebrow "Okay Li" he quickly closes his eyes I quickly pull out a rose "okay open your eyes" he opens his eyes, looking at the rose then back at me I think I can see tears prick his eyes as he covers his mouth nodding and hugging me I just smile so big and wrap my arms around his waist. 

I whisper in his ear "so it's a yes?" he nods his head very quickly and I can't help but grin I gently take his chin and look into his beautiful green eyes "I have wanted to do this for awhile" he bites his lips and smiles as I finally kiss the boy that I love so dearly. I pull back and smile "You are my everything" I can see him trying to wipe away his tears and he smiles "Li- I love you" he kisses me as I pull him closer to me. Out of nowhere I hear whistling and clapping nearly scaring me half to death I grip Louis and turn around to see our band mates smiling as they clap and whistle "you get him Liam!" Zayn yells and I blush tucking my head into Lou's shoulder as they laugh and smile. 

"I love you" I turn to Louis and smile 

"I love you Lou" 

we kiss and smile as we hug 

**LIAM!**

I snap out of my flashback and look as I am still in the bathroom on the floor and I hear Niall yell my name as he knocks on the door "Liam you have been in there forever! we have to go!" I look up at the clock 8:00 "crap crap crap I'm coming!" I take the quickest shower I have in my life and sprint out in my towel to Niall with his eyes widened and mouth opened "Li are you okay? what were you doing in there? we have to leave soon" I nod and look down as he goes in the bathroom. I need to stop spacing out the worst possible time I search for something to wear I hear the water turn off and Ni comes out a second later in a robe "Is there something we are supposed to wear? Or?" he shakes his head as he rummages through his suitcase I grab my ripped jeans red long sleeved shirt and converse. Silence fills the room except us breathing "Is everything okay?" he breaks the long silence I turn to him and nod "just tired" I run into the bathroom and quickly change, looking in the mirror seeing the dead look on my face "screw it" I put my hands through my hair and I shrug my shoulders.

I grab my bag and set his bag by his feet and run back in to grab my toothbrush and I come out to see Ni looking at his phone and crossing his leg wearing black skinny jeans white slip on's and a black and white plaid shirt "Ready?" he turns and nods grabbing his key and following me. We quickly leave and I turn to him "Are we taking your-"  **NIALL! LIAM! THEY ARE OVER HERE!** I turn and see about thirty girls with signs and shirts holding cameras "shit!" Niall grabs my hand and we bolt down the back stairs  **NIALL YOU'RE SO CUTE, LIAM YOU'RE SO HOT! I WANT TO MARRY THEM!**.

I turn slightly as I am still running seeing the girls running over each other pulling each other down to try to get closer to us. I think Niall can read my mind because no later he says "I know Li but not the time" as he continues to run to the stairs. 

"crap crap crap" I hear Ni whisper under his breath as we go down about six flights we finally reach the parking lot, trying to catch my breath "where'd you park your car Ni" we look around "C'mon Li" he starts crouching down as we look through the parking lot until after what seems like forever we find his black Ferrari "finally I-"  **THERE THEY ARE!** we whip our heads around and see what looks to be 70-90 girls running towards us and we get in, locking the doors finally catching our breath as he starts the engine and peels out quickly just barely getting caught "I'm still not used to that".

I say looking at him and he agrees "It is weird from being normal people to celebrities and actually having people chasing us to get pictures or our signature" I nod clasping my hands together and I happen to look at the time "Ni" my eyes wide open "hm?" "We have eight minutes to get there and Simon has called me three times" by now Ni's eyes are wide and he grips the steering wheel "crap crap" he says switching lanes and gaining speed "we'll get there soon" he turns right and keeps driving "I'd say two seconds" as he pulls into a spot and parks, turning and grinning at me "let's go before they kill us".

I nod and get out quickly running into the building Harry standing there with his back to us. I turn to Niall and see him tip toeing over to his boyfriend and pouncing on him "baby!" he grips onto Haz as he turns around "Ni!" he wraps his hands around his back and kisses him "why are you sweaty?" Ni looks around "well you see we kinda got ambushed at the hotel getting here and yeah" Haz eyes go wide and shakes his head "oh god that's awful I was sure they wouldn't find you guys" we shrug our shoulder just as our photographer comes in the room "Ami!" I say hugging her and she returns the favor "Oh my god Liam! I haven't seen you in forever".

We catch up and we start with the shoot "now we'll get a group shoot first the individuals" we all nod and Ni fixes his snapback and I smile "Okay Niall in the middle Harry crouch down and Li put your hands on Niall's shoulders and yes now stand on your tip toes yes now smile and-" for some reason Niall bursts out laughing and we shortly follow suit "Yes perfect!" she quickly snaps the shots from all angles "Ni stop" Harry says looking down laughing trying to cover his mouth "I-I can't"

His face is turning red and look up laughing "Ni" I say trying to catch my breath. After about two more minutes of just us laughing and every time one of stopped Niall would just look at us and it would go on until we all cooled down "now I want Niall in the middle again but Harry and Liam put your arms around me him yes Harry put your chin a little down there hold it" after a few more shots and some....distractions "NIALL GIVE ME MY HAT BACK" they've been doing this for a few minutes I just shake my head and smile "okay boys!" Ami claps her hands and they stop "Now I want Individual shots" we nod and she does Ni first "Now Ni put your hat back a little good cross your arms great and separate your feet a little perfect now smile yes" she takes a few shots of him and next is Haz  "Okay Harry now cross your feet and put your right arm on your neck great".

Until I am next "Now Li lean back on the wall crossing your feet and look at me put your chin down yes great" after about twenty minutes with Simon coming in and checking up on us "So Zayn and Lou are at the studio working on some vocals and they will be at the concert tonight as he leaves pretty quick waving and he shuts the door. "Lou!" I jump up off the floor and rise my hands over my head but I see everyone looking and smiling at me and I immediately blush and look down at the floor "well I think that is it for today lads you all did so well!" we smile and thanking her for taking our leave.

"so it's 2:35 does everyone want lunch?" Haz asks looking at his phone and we nod "I talked to Z and they are eating at the studio" I look down and I feel someone wrap their arms around me and I see Niall smiling "It's okay Li you'll see him" I smile and nod rubbing his shoulder "So what is everyone hungry for?" "Thai" I and Ni say at the same time as we laugh "Well okay I believe there is a Thai place a few blocks from here, Ni let's take your car" Getting in his car as we drive to the restaurant "Wait how are we going to eat in peace?" Haz waves "Not an issue I talked to the owner and the worked out a room for us to eat since the shows at nine we need to be there by eight it's all good".

He smiles looking back at his phone as Niall pulls into a space "Now we have to walk to the back and knock three times the owner is waiting for us" Niall and I nod walking to the back, knocking three times and a short man with black hair and a big smile greets us "Half of One Direction what a pleasure comes in the rooms in the back" we thank him as we follow him, looking and seeing a table set up pretty fancy "This is very nice of you Mr. Chaya" Harry says sitting down "Oh it is no problem my daughters are huge fans" we all smile "Well tell them thank you" I pipe up "Mr. Chaya we could sign some paper or something to give it to your daughters" He smiles wide "Oh well that would be great!" he grabs a piece of paper and a sharpie handing it to Harry  "What are your daughters names?" he beams "Sophie and Rylan" we nod each of us signing it "Love Liam" I hand it to him and him thanks us a few times.

"A waiter will come to take your order" he scurries off leaving us alone "Well are you ready for the last concert mates?" Ni putting his straw in his water glass. I stay silent "kinda I mean I feel like I haven't really been there mentally this tour and I do feel bad" Harry and Niall rub my shoulders "It's understandable you have always been the sane cool-headed one we are humans we have our low points in life but it never lasts. I look at Harry smiling wiping my eyes he always has good advice "You are right Haz I am going to make this concert great!" Ni and Haz clap and laugh "There's our Li" Ni says setting his glass down just as a waitress comes in "Are you guys ready to order?" we nod and give her our orders leaving us alone again "well it's almost three so after this what did you lads want to do?" Ni looks up "why don't we go swimming? I have that big in ground pool"I and Haz smile "Actually that sounds nice, the other two texted me saying Simon was taking them somewhere" we nod and quickly eat, leaving forty minutes later. 

*At Niall's House* 

"Still surprised how big your house is baby" Haz says kissing his forehead as Ni unlocks his door seeing a huge living room I mean I have been in his house before it just has been awhile Ii believe they live together "hey Ni do yo-" I turn to see Haz and Ni stripping their shoes and shirts running to the back "Sorry Li! Pool!" Ni says running to the pool "I swear they are kids" I shake my head and take my shoes and shirt off running after those two grown children I see Ni and Haz the edge but Haz turns to his lover "Babe your hat" he takes off Ni's snapback throwing it to one of the chairs, kissing his cheek as he pulls him into the pool "AH!" a big splash of water hits my feet as they resurface wiping the water off their face and Ni holds Harry's hands "C'mon Li!" Haz yells laughing going under again I shake my head "I changed my mind I'll just lay out-" I feel someone tug on my pant leg and see Niall's pale hand as he pulls me in and I go under "Ah!" I come up to see them laughing their butts off. 

I don't know but I felt so much better I don't know if it's being with my mates or having fun but- I get pulled back into reality when Niall splashes me "Come on Li! quit spacing out and have fun!" I nodded getting out as they follow suit "cannonball?" I ask and they agree, holding each other and my hand "1 2 3!" we all run in and jump making a huge splash watering going everywhere. By the time we come up we are laughing and we spend a few hours splashing around, talking and having fun after being completely soaked from head to toe I get out and check the time "Guys its almost eight!".

They stop and get out of the pool "we have to change!" we all say in unison "wait we left clothes here remember!" Harry says drying his hair off "in the spare bedroom!" Ni yells as I run and grab the big bag coming back within minutes "Okay let's change and leave in less than five got it?" I say still dripping wet and the other nods running in the house with me on their tail, trying to dry off the best I can and they run into different rooms as I run upstairs with my clothes running into the first room I get to luckily it's a bathroom "thank god" I throw off my wet clothes ringing them out as I set my wet clothes on the edge of the bathtub grabbing my black skinny jeans and white v-neck with my black snapback. Looking in the mirror at my wet hair "crap" I grab a fresh towel trying to dry my hair the best I can I look at my phone seeing 7:15 "CRAP!".

I run out with my checkered slip on's in hand as I race downstairs to see them running around the room grabbing their things "Calm down guys" and they both stop to look at me "Li remember the last time we were late to a concerted practice? Simon didn't let us forget it!" Ni says jumping up and down with one shoe in hand "Now if we don't want to get an earful from him we leave now!" Harry yells grabbing Niall's keys and gets out the door to the car with Niall on his tail "Come on Liam!" he screams getting in the driver side with Harry in the passenger side as I run to get in the back and we drive like a bat our of hell "Okay okay it takes about fifteen minutes if we take the back route" Ni says to himself as he turns the corner. 

"We are so dead If Simon finds that we aren't there by the time he is" I nod "It's okay we are so close" I say looking at my phone and twenty minutes pass until we finally get to the venue "Crap Simon's car is here" Niall says as he parks out in the back "Let's just get in there and in our dressing room before Simon notices we aren't there" Harry adds getting out and crouching down as we all follow suit, slipping in the back door and down the weirdly empty hallways until- "WHERE ARE THE OTHER BOYS?".

 I see Simon turn the corner talking to Zayn as he checks his mic " I'm-" he sees us and we shake our heads and beg him, he rolls his eyes and nods motioning in the opposite direction to what I assume is the dressing room. We thank him and he nods "I actually think they are over by this side of the stage" Zayn says pointing to the opposite side of the stage giving us a chance to book it and making it into the dressing room "Let's get changed".

I say and they nod as we go to change quickly coming back "Z can't hold him anymore get back to the dressing room!" I whisper-shout to the other two as we run to the room, Haz and  Niall plopping on the couch and I sit in the chair looking at my phone "I actually think I saw them go into the dressing room!' I hear Z's voice as he is trailed behind Simon. "There you three are, hurry up!" we all nod "wait where's Lou?" I ask and they look at each other "Lou is getting ready he'll be out shortly" Simon adds mushing us to get out there and we practice until about 8:45. 

"Okay lads backstage it's showtime!" Simon says smiling as he walks off "You lads know what to do!" and we do by now anyway we all put our hands in"Okay 1 2 3 Family!" we raise a fist. "Let's make this a show to remember!" we run out waving and smiling as the screams get louder than ever "Whats up New York!" Z shouts and the crowd goes wild I look around and the face I want to see isn't here I am upset but worried as well and I can't let that show so I smile and wave as the song starts I walk around singing along "Girl it should be driving to your house knocking on your door kissing you on the mouth" I turn to see Z as he ends his line just as I start "Holding on you hand dancing in the dark cause I was the only one who loved you from the start" the song goes on as I still don't see you, Lou, I hold some of the fans hands in the front row and return to the stage and everything gets quiet right in the middle of the song "Uh Lads whats with the-"

I get cut off "Girl it should be me calling on your phone saying you're the one and that I'll never let you go" that can only be I turn and see Lou crying as he smiles "Surprise Li!" I start crying as I bolt to him hugging him and spinning him around after about five minutes we finish the song and the crowd goes "Awh!" and then everything goes quiet "Everyone I have to be honest with you guys" I take a breath and grasp Lou's hand "I hate hiding it" I look at Lou I see my Lou my only Lou Bear and he nods smiling whispering "Do It" I look at the others and they nod as the smile. I pull the love of my life closer to me and kiss him as I have never kissed him before and the crowd loses it clapping, screaming and chanting "LILO LILO LILO" I hold his face in my hands. 

"I love you, Louis Tomlinson"

"I love you, Liam Payne"

I say rubbing my thumb over his cheek and what must have been the best timing cause a ton of confetti and balloons fall all over the stage and the crowd as I pull my love in for another kiss. we finish the concert about almost two hours later and I don't let go of his hand the entire time. "Thank you New York you have been incredible and we have one more thing to share with you" everything gets quiet, I turn to Harry and Ni "Get over here you two" they grasp hands and walk towards the center of the stage Harry holds Ni's hand and raises it "I LOVE NIALL HORAN!" the crowd goes ballistic! "NARRY NARRY NARRY" the crowd chants "Come here baby" Harry pulls him into a kiss and the crowd claps and cheers even louder. We all walk to the center of the stage holding hands and bowing as they clap, wave and cry.

"We wanted to finally be honest with you guys, we love you all very deeply and we all hated hiding this from our Directioners so no matter what anyone says you be you!!

  We hope you all do not look down on us now that you guys know!"Harry holds his mic to the crowd and they answer "NO!!" the scream in return 

"Whether you are black, white, gay or straight!! We are all human!" the crowd starts to cry and clap as we wave leaving the stage. 

 

I pull Louis aside keeping him on stage as the crowd starts to disperse.

 

"I am so proud of you, I know in my heart and mind that there is no one else that I would rather be with. Lou being away from you for this long tore me apart inside and I could not be happier that you are back in my arms and I am never letting you go" He smiles and holds my hand tighter as tears prick his eyes "I love you so much Liam and you were the one that made me so strong you never gave up on me even when I wanted to give up on myself you have been there through so much and I don't know if I will ever be able to thank you, I know we can withstand anything" his voice starts to crack as he hugs me and I hug him, resting my head on his shoulder closing my eyes. 

" _I'm Home....."_

I say quietly in a huge venue with the love of my life in my arms and confetti all over us and the floor scattered with balloons there is no place I would rather be. 

This is not a job but a home and I could not be happier than how I am right now. 

Much Love x


End file.
